Ted Forsyth
28 Weeks Later - Welcome to the Isle of Dogs, my name is RAAAAGGGRAARAHHH!!!
Boarding Gate - Boredom Gate
Cloverfield -
Come and See - Klimov's awe-inspiring masterwork
Cube - Insert obvious joke about cubes/squares here
Evilenko - Andrei Chikatilo killed 52 people, this film stole two hours of my life. The greater crime is?
Flight 93 - Not to be confused with United 93 - the difference is, this one is shit
Happening, The - The Crappening
Human Centipede, The - FEED HER
Lady in the Water - Exposition, Exposition, Exposition
Magician, The - Casting D-I-S-M-I-S-S
Maniac - Jaws on Land
Maniac Cop 2 - He's big and ugly with a busted jaw, you know you're dealing with the WRONG arm of the law
Miami Vice - Comparing this with the TV series is like comparing The Wright Brothers plane with an F-15
Nacho Libre - Jared's on the top rope.....but misses and falls on his face
Oleanna - Whichever side you choose, you're wrong
Principal, The - He's the Principal! Sort of!
REC - One Witness. One Camera.
Road House - It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.
Samurai Commando: Mission 1549 - Samurai Warriors vs Tanks...really
Stalker - Not a Roadside Picnic
Strangers, The - The Strangers here are
Subject Two - It's like Christmas every day, but with more reanimation of the dead
Taxidermia - Unlike anything you've seen before
T-Force - The T is actually NOT for Terrible which is a surprise.
Tideland - Gilliam's patented 'World O' Whimsy' miracle compound goes seriously wrong
Total Recall - We Can Exploit It For You Wholesale
Ultraviolet - Warning - do not watch this film
Wal-Mart : The High Cost of Low Price - Love of Money is the Root of all Evil
