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  Blade Trinity Bloody Nuisance
Year: 2004
Director: David S. Goyer
Stars: Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Jessica Biel, Ryan Reynolds, Dominic Purcell, Parker Posey, Mark Berry, John Michael Higgins, Callum Keith Rennie, Paul Levesque, Paul Anthony, Françoise Yip, James Remar, Natasha Lyonne, Patton Oswalt, Eric Bogosian
Genre: Horror, Action, AdventureBuy from Amazon
Rating:  4 (from 2 votes)
Review: The vampire hierarchy have been searching for the one bloodsucker who would allow them to attain the complete control over the human race they have thirsted after for so long: Dracula himself. They have tracked a possible location for his tomb in an ancient construction in Syria where they delve deep into its catacombs, finally discovering his body, or rather he discovers them, having woken and hungry for blood - even vampire's blood will do. Meanwhile, their nemesis Blade (Wesley Snipes) has been exposed in the media as a dangerous criminal because the humans do not believe in the supernatural as a rule, hence his enemies have been spreading stories that he has murdered innocent people. What can he do to prevent his own capture by the FBI?

Ironic that they finally get him for tax evasion - oh, no, that was the actual star, Blade has blood on his hands and his excuse that he only kills humans who have been in league with the villains just won't cut the mustard with the authorities as the vampires have been keeping a decidedly low profile as they feed on us like barely noticeable parasites, having done so for centuries and building up a sophisticated community in the process. This third entry in the Blade franchise was regarded fairly comprehensively as a complete letdown after the success, both box office and critical, of Blade II, and the blame was left at the door of the series' screenwriter David S. Goyer since against Snipes' wishes he was given the task of directing the movie as well. That said, Snipes did not exactly cover himself in glory.

Therefore a "he said, he said" state of affairs emerged from the making of Blade Trinity, with stories of Goyer's mismanagement of the shoot, introducing characters the fans were not interested in to carry the movie when what they wanted was more Blade, contrasting with accusations Snipes was extremely obstinate on the set about what he wanted to do, even having rows with Goyer in front of the cast and crew and outright refusing to act in certain scenes. What the fans hadn't noticed was that Blade wasn't exactly all over the second entry either and that had turned out fine, taking a similar tack of having the hero part of a team, so what unfolded in this one was not all that new, though it was really the nature of the fresh team which proved the sticking point.

This time Blade saw usual sidekick Whistler (Kris Kristofferson) largely ignored thanks to an early twist where their base of operations was blown up in self-destruct mode to ensure the Feds were not able to scour their files. Instead, Goyer went back to the Tomb of Dracula comic book originals, adopted the character of Hannibal King (Ryan Reynolds) and retooled him as a sort of vampire battling stand up comedian, never without a quip for every occasion, though mostly relying on profanity as if the screenwriter had just discovered swearing. Still, what King calls chief vampire Parker Posey was truly memorable, but all this wisecracking dialogue overpowered everyone else, and not in a good way as you imagine the aficionados had showed up to see Blade and not Reynolds. Or Jessica Biel, for that matter, who appeared as an arrow-firing heretofore unmentioned illegitimate daughter of Whistler called Abigail.

King and Abby were part of a gang called the Nightstalkers, which sounds like a Saturday morning cartoon according to Blade, and that lack of real heft to the melodrama, replaced with near-endless CGI combat, was reminiscent of that sort of entertainment, only with cursing. Certainly the supposedly imposing main villain, Dracula renamed Drake (Dominic Purcell) for no good reason, was less than impressive, not getting enough to do when Posey was stealing the movie as far as the baddies went, and lacking any charisma - if only he had been the evening suit and cape version of tradition then you might have something with real personality, as well as a contrast between the flashy visuals and something more believably from another time. The vampires eventually have a showdown with Blade and company in their lair, which turned out to be a very corporate skyscraper, again suggesting an intriguing angle that went unexplored as Goyer went with the least imaginative elements. It was still watchable enough, but only on a low level engagement of the mind. Music by Ramin Djawadi and The RZA.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

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