The denizens of the Buttless Galaxy far out in space have been pondering their lot in life recently, and given they are an exclusively male race of aliens their leader, the Grand Glom, decides they could use the feminine touch around the place. Not for breeding purposes, for the Buttless race reproduce asexually by dividing themselves, but for some to use as a servant for their household chores, so to that end he calls Sterilox (Frank A. Coe) before him and instructs him that since he is technically an adult now - centuries of existence will do that to a fellow - he should be bearing the responsibility of travelling to a little-known planet called Earth where he is ordered to pick up the ideal specimen of womanhood...
Well, it was 1964 and female emancipation was not quite as advanced back then as it is now, or you'd like to think so at any rate, so the view of women as a gender created solely to serve men was not so surprising in one of those nudie cuties that were intended for gentlemen to watch in cinemas specifically provided for audiences who wanted to see young ladies disrobe (in this case the ladies only had one line of dialogue - the title - if that). These still have a following today, not because they send the viewer into dizzying heights of erotic ecstasy but for their camp value, and you didn't get much camper than Kiss Me Quick, legendary smut producer Harry Novak's first effort, which slotted into the genre where a fantastical flavour was introduced to the softcore.
Thus a science fiction nudie was what this was, although you could just as easily describe it as a classic horror nudie, not because this was all time great material, but because the production used classic horror characters to add spice to what was basically an excuse to ogle naked women. Sterilox wasn't one of those recognisable archetypes, though Coe delivered an excellent Stan Laurel impersonation as the alien - quite why the mixture of that innocent comedic personality and the sleaze this was concocting was an ideal match remains a mystery undiscussed in the movie itself. He teleports to a mansion on a dark and stormy night, and straight into the company of one Dr Breedlove (Max Gardens).
He was doing an impersonation as well, not of Peter Sellers in Dr. Strangelove as the name suggested, though he did have a black-gloved arm which occasionally acted up, but of Bela Lugosi, a star who had appeared as his fair share of mad scientists down the years. The makeup on these folks and the other fright favorites - the Frankenstein Monster (also Coe), a short Dracula, a Mummy - was surprisingly well detailed for such a no-budget effort, and it had the bonus of being shot in eye-popping colour by the future cinematographer of Easy Rider and Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Laszlo Kovacs, a man who had honed his undeniable talent on the arse end of the movie industry before graduating to works that would use him to more fruitful purpose.
There was even a skull with a Peter Lorre voice, so director Peter Perry Jr, a veteran of this sort of thing, was patently a fan and judging by the Famous Monsters of Filmland (only bluer) level of the jokes he had thought quite a bit about how best to approach Kiss Me Quick; the results were plain to see which was why it was regarded as one of the best of its kind by the aficionados. But it wasn't really the plot audiences would be interested in - not back then, though maybe more now - it was the girls, a bunch of professional strippers as these performers tended to be, and exhibiting that they knew very well how to take their clothes off over a period of a couple of minutes. This being the era it was, there was an inordinate amount of time alloted for the removal of stockings, which presumably got the blokes revved up way back when, but looks like a distraction now, and when they weren't doing that Perry had them exercising or frolicking in a paddling pool as there wasn't that much interaction with the characters. Not conventionally good, exactly, but for what it was...
