On march 23, 1969 the United States Navy established an elite school for the top one percent of its pilots, its purpose was to teach the lost art of Aerial Combat and insure that a handful of men who graduated were the best fighter pilots in the world.
They succeed.
Today the Navy calls it the Fighter Weapons School
The flyers call it:
TOP GUN
And Reagan fucking loved it! Even as they wiped the last trickle of dribble off his chin he refused to believe that Iceman was trying to lure Maverick into his clique of 'boys'.
But when I watched this film recently I started to notice things, little things like the subtle outline of a semi-erect cock on Slider’s towel during the locker room scenes. And why does Iceman constantly sniff the air? Is it because he loves the smell of jockstraps in the morning? Most of the scene is spent eyeing each others packages.
Is it the video footage of planes getting shot down that gives Wolfman the hard-on or is it because Chipper’s sitting next to him? What is this ‘Danger Zone’ we’re going to be taken into? And what IS Maverick doing to Goose’s body after they crash into the ocean?
Also what does Maverick smell on Slider? My guess is its that bovine tang that tends to linger around after a hard bumming session (a friend of a friend assured me of this last point).
I was devastated to see everyone’s favourite journeyman Michael Ironside relegated to being a bitch for that mincing queen Viper, and when Viper tells Maverick ‘I flew with your old man’ I think we all know what he means.
After everyone gets oiled up for Volleyball, Maverick goes to see his love interest, the suspiciously named ‘Charlie’ and yet when he finally gets to launch one up her, I found myself yelling at the screen, ‘Jesus put yer back into it son! That’s your fucking teacher! Get yer monies worth!’ But then I realised that Charlie probably had a wizard’s sleeve compared to what Maverick is used to when he’s ‘playin with the boys’. Even when he’s round her house and she’s sat across from him, scantily clad with legs akimbo, why doesn’t he just tuck in? I would have taken her eye out.
It baffles me as to why Tom Cruise chose to take this role considering the resolutely hetrosexual life he has always led(?). I guess we’ll never know the answer. Personally I would have much rather watched a video of the Top Gun wrap parties, when the local Naval officers went 20 up on McGillis*
*I may have made this up.
I will always remember the kid at school who was famous because his dad once recorded Top Gun off the TV for him but edited out all of the dialogue and sex and just recorded the aerial combat footage. He was never allowed to forget that for the seven years he was at school with us.
At the end of the film I always think that Iceman was meant to say, ‘You can be my brown-wing man anytime’ but Kilmer refused to say it. I think that one line would have explained everything.
British-born director Tony Scott was the brother of director Ridley Scott and worked closely with him in their production company for film and television, both having made their names in the advertising business before moving onto glossy features for cinema. He shocked Hollywood by committing suicide by jumping from a bridge in Los Angeles for reasons that were never disclosed.
