Who is this behind bars? Why it's Granny Good (Bob Cresse), and she has a tale of woe to impart to us about her school for young ladies, the G.G.S.F.G.G. (Granny Good's School For Good Girls) where she teaches her students skills about the wider world, all the while with a profitable sideline in illegal hooch. Not that she presents her less than noble face to the public, as today when she is interviewing two parents about admitting their daughter to the academy though they do keep getting knocked off their chairs by huge explosions occurring in the building's basement. Surprisingly they are not put off by this, and soon their pride and joy is part of the learning program...
Ah, but she's not all she seems as she's actually an undercover agent who is infiltrating the dodgy Granny's operation, though not only does she not notice the old lady is in fact a man in drag, but she also doesn't twig she's not in the movie to offer us the full Nancy Drew, not unless Nancy was a closet nudist. Yes, this was a so-called nudie-cutie of the sort which proliferated in the nineteen-sixties around the world in certain markets, the forerunners to the stronger stuff of hardcore pornography. Needless to say, there won't be many viewers watching these for the heights of sexual ecstasy they drum up.
Not when modern porn goes so much further, which was a shame since although nobody would accuse House on Bare Mountain and its ilk of being innocent at the time, that's the way they seem now: they didn't want to show full penetration or any kind of gymnastic gynaecology footage, all they wanted was to show off a bunch of naked ladies who would get up to such decidedly non-steamy activity as drawing in an art class or skipping with a rope. If the female cast were not naked for much of the time, the kind of thing they got up to would be stultifyingly boring, and actually many find these movies elicit that response of tedium anyway, which contained its own brand of charm.
Mostly that was down to the filmmakers' delight in what they thought they were getting away with, which looks like pretty small beer now there's the modern equivalent on late night TV "specialist" channels for hours. So while they were moving towards the same market, watching the endeavours of director Lee Frost (whose C.V. would only get more out there the further his career went on) in this project was rather silly more than a fantasia of overwhelming erotica. The plot, such as it was, was an excuse to see the models wandering around without any clothes on, and Frost ensured they would be bouncing around as much as possible, the movement being the essential element that separated this from your average gentleman's magazine of the day.
Therefore we obviously had to have the students exercising, which involved jumping up and down, or even walking up and down a flight of stairs, surely the least imaginative idea for one of these ever. Some interest was shown in House on Bare Mountain (which doesn't have the classical soundtrack the title would suggest) by horror fans in that supposedly we had a Frankenstein's Monster, Dracula and The Wolf Man included, though they would be disappointed to learn on watching this to see those characters were simply partygoers in masks seen in the climactic jamboree. That said, there was a very tall man in werewolf makeup as Granny Good's henchman, though he might not have been a werewolf, just especially hirsute. In the main this consisted of largely unspeaking young ladies posing undressed for the camera and if that was not to your liking, or even if it was, then there was not too much to prevent boredom setting in early no matter how far producer/star "Loveable" (said he) Bob Cresse went with his comedy stylings. Music by Pierre Martel.
