Newest Reviews
American Fiction
Poor Things
Legend of the Bat
Party Line
Night Fright
Pacha, Le
Assemble Insert
Venus Tear Diamond, The
Beauty's Evil Roses, The
Free Guy
Huck and Tom's Mississippi Adventure
Rejuvenator, The
Who Fears the Devil?
Guignolo, Le
Batman, The
Land of Many Perfumes
Cat vs. Rat
Tom & Jerry: The Movie
Naked Violence
Joyeuses Pacques
Strangeness, The
How I Became a Superhero
Golden Nun
Incident at Phantom Hill
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City
Maigret Sets a Trap
Hell's Wind Staff, The
Topo Gigio and the Missile War
Battant, Le
Penguin Highway
Cazadore de Demonios
Imperial Swordsman
Newest Articles
3 From Arrow Player: Sweet Sugar, Girls Nite Out and Manhattan Baby
Little Cat Feat: Stephen King's Cat's Eye on 4K UHD
La Violence: Dobermann at 25
Serious Comedy: The Wrong Arm of the Law on Blu-ray
DC Showcase: Constantine - The House of Mystery and More on Blu-ray
Monster Fun: Three Monster Tales of Sci-Fi Terror on Blu-ray
State of the 70s: Play for Today Volume 3 on Blu-ray
The Movie Damned: Cursed Films II on Shudder
The Dead of Night: In Cold Blood on Blu-ray
Suave and Sophisticated: The Persuaders! Take 50 on Blu-ray
Your Rules are Really Beginning to Annoy Me: Escape from L.A. on 4K UHD
A Woman's Viewfinder: The Camera is Ours on DVD
Chaplin's Silent Pursuit: Modern Times on Blu-ray
The Ecstasy of Cosmic Boredom: Dark Star on Arrow
A Frosty Reception: South and The Great White Silence on Blu-ray
You'll Never Guess Which is Sammo: Skinny Tiger and Fatty Dragon on Blu-ray
Two Christopher Miles Shorts: The Six-Sided Triangle/Rhythm 'n' Greens on Blu-ray
Not So Permissive: The Lovers! on Blu-ray
Uncomfortable Truths: Three Shorts by Andrea Arnold on MUBI
The Call of Nostalgia: Ghostbusters Afterlife on Blu-ray
Moon Night - Space 1999: Super Space Theater on Blu-ray
Super Sammo: Warriors Two and The Prodigal Son on Blu-ray
Sex vs Violence: In the Realm of the Senses on Blu-ray
What's So Funny About Brit Horror? Vampira and Bloodbath at the House of Death on Arrow
Keeping the Beatles Alive: Get Back
  Return to the Blue Lagoon Washed Up At Their Age
Year: 1991
Director: William A. Graham
Stars: Milla Jovovich, Brian Krause, Lisa Pelikan, Courtney Barilla, Garette Ratliff Henson, Emma James, Jackson Barton, Nana Coburn, Brian Blain, Peter Hehir, Alexander Petersons, John Mann, Wayne Pygram, John Dicks, Gus Mercurio, John Turnbull, Todd Rippon
Genre: Drama, Romance, AdventureBuy from Amazon
Rating:  4 (from 1 vote)
Review: The crew of a ship sailing through the Pacific Ocean notice a boat drifting nearby and set about drawing closer to see if there's anyone aboard. It turns out there is, three people in fact, but the two adults are dead from lack of water, though the infant with them who they assume to be the couple's child is still alive. The sole woman aboard the ship, Sarah Hargrave (Lisa Pelikan), is there with her baby girl, so she decides to look after the foundling which she does until bad news hits the crew: cholera has begun to infect them, so Sarah and the kids must abandon ship.

If you ever saw The Blue Lagoon (1980 version) and wondered what happened next, then this belated sequel would surely disappoint you right from the start, seeing as how it killed off the hero and heroine from that cult movie pretty swiftly to concentrate on their little boy instead. Once you were done reeling from that bombshell you would be noting that the business with getting the three main characters onto the same darn island was very similar to what had gone before. Indeed, what it was difficult to get away from was that Return was not so much a sequel as a remake, at least until the last act.

If your tastes were more for The Black Lagoon then you would find little to interest you here, as the closest they got to a water monster was a shark which hung around a specific area of the surrounding sea, just waiting to pick the characters off should they make a tactical error and wind up in the ocean when it was around. Aside from that, any dangers were not derived from Mother Nature, but from mankind; for a start, once Sarah and the kids are rowing away from the diseased ship accompanied by a burly sailor, he keeps harping on about how it would be easier to survive if the babbies were not around, which it's safe to say leads to a conflict with the guardian.

Certainly whacking someone with an oar then dumping their body in the sea is one way to solve that, or it's what Sarah does, and before long the three of them are island-bound once again. If you can imagine Lisa Pelikan as Leo McKern then you can see how this will play out, except that apparently recognising that the Brooke Shields epic was the way that many of its young audience found out about the birds and the bees without the awkwardness of asking their parents, for a while in this it turns into a sex education lesson, only with a giggly quality that it doesn't quite shift. Once the rules of reproduction are established, we can get rid of Sarah.

She doesn't feel very well one day and soon after is pushing up the daisies. Seemingly seconds later the two kids are not kids anymore and are played by Milla Jovovich and Brian Krause, ready to argue, tussle and fall in lurve, just like in the first movie. You may ponder that effort would be a better bet, it was funnier in places at any rate, and Milla might have agreed with you as she claimed this was the worst film she ever made, a bold claim considering her other cinematic endeavours. Just as this is grinding inexorably towards the teens making a baby - though not before a pretend marriage ceremony, just in case we were wondering how babies were made without the blessing of a wedding - a bunch of Australians appear. They include Captain's daughter Nana Coburn who catches the eye of Krause's obnoxious youth, creating a love triangle which goes nowhere (hey, they're married!) and also a nasty man who wants to steal Milla's pearl and more. By the end, you'll realise you've wasted your time, though Scorpius from Farscape is in it, so there's that. Music by Basil Poledouris.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark


This review has been viewed 6246 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

Review Comments (2)

Untitled 1

Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.

Latest Poll
Which star probably has psychic powers?
Laurence Fishburne
Nicolas Cage
Anya Taylor-Joy
Patrick Stewart
Sissy Spacek
Michelle Yeoh
Aubrey Plaza
Tom Cruise
Beatrice Dalle
Michael Ironside

Recent Visitors
Enoch Sneed
  Louise Hackett
Darren Jones
Mark Le Surf-hall
Andrew Pragasam
Mary Sibley
Graeme Clark
  Desbris M


Last Updated: