Newest Reviews
12 Hour Shift
Filmmaker's House, The
Intergalactic Adventures of Max Cloud, The
Spoilers, The
Killer Therapy
Man Upstairs, The
Bloodhound, The
New Mutants, The
Flame of New Orleans, The
Ham on Rye
Imperial Blue
August 32nd on Earth
Don is Dead, The
Seven Sinners
Body of Water
About Endlessness
Let It Snow
Deliver Us from Evil
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon
Midnight Sky, The
Lego Star Wars Holiday Special, The
Mon Oncle Antoine
Blast of Silence
Blackout, The
Stars in Your Eyes
Climate of the Hunter
Farewell Amor
Let's Scare Julie
Okko's Inn
Shaolin vs. Wu Tang
Butt Boy
Dog of Flanders, The
Bushido Blade, The
Newest Articles
Network Double Bills: Seance on a Wet Afternoon and Ring of Spies
Chaney Chillers: Inner Sanctum Mysteries - The Complete Film Series on Blu-ray
Adelphi Extras: Stars in Your Eyes on Blu-ray
Toons for the Heads: Fantastic Planet and Adult Animation
Nature Girl: The New World on Blu-ray
Network Double Bills: Perfect Friday and Robbery
Network Double Bills: The House in Nightmare Park and The Man Who Haunted Himself
Newley Minted: The Strange World of Gurney Slade on Blu-ray
Bad Love: The Night Porter on Blu-ray
Brevity is the Soul of Weird: Short Sharp Shocks on Blu-ray
Get Your Ass to Mars: Total Recall on Blu-ray
Call the Professionals: Le Cercle Rouge on Blu-ray
When There's No More Room in Hell: Dawn of the Dead on Blu-ray
The Butterfly Effect: Mothra on Blu-ray
Living Room Theatre: Play for Today Volume 1 on Blu-ray
Didn't He Do Well: The Bruce Forsyth Show on DVD
Blood Wedding: The Bride with White Hair on Blu-ray
The Inhuman Element: The Ladykillers on 4K UHD
As You Like It, Baby: Breathless on Blu-ray
Stargazing: Light Entertainment Rarities on DVD
Down to the Welles: Orson Welles Great Mysteries Volume 2 on DVD
Herding Cats: Sleepwalkers on Blu-ray
Confessions of a Porn Star: Adult Material on DVD
They're Still Not Sure It is a Baby: Eraserhead on Blu-ray
Werewolves are Real: Dog Soldiers on Digital
  Cockneys vs Zombies Gore Blimey, Guvnor
Year: 2012
Director: Matthias Hoene
Stars: Rasmus Hardiker, Harry Treadaway, Michelle Ryan, Alan Ford, Georgia King, Ashley Bashy Thomas, Jack Doolan, Honor Blackman, Richard Briers, Tony Selby, Dudley Sutton, Georgina Hale, Tony Gardner, Phil Cornwell, Natalie Walter, Dexter Fletcher
Genre: Horror, ComedyBuy from Amazon
Rating:  7 (from 1 vote)
Review: A site is being prepared for construction here in the East End of London which will see a lot of old properties demolished and expensive new ones put up in their place. One of those buildings due to be knocked down is this care home for the elderly, where the residents are none too happy about being uprooted from a location they have spent most of their lives in, and sent to various old folks' homes around the country instead. But you never know what'll happen next, as for example who could have predicted the construction workers uncovering a plague site from 1666 - with its own zombie?

If ever there was a case for telling it like it is, then Cockneys vs Zombies had it all in the title. A mishmash of two genres, the low budget gangster Britflick which had broken out like a rash over the previous few years on the industry - cheap, fast to make, guaranteed a profit from an audience who will watch anything with laddish humour and violence of unpretentious quality - was the part inspiration here. The other inspiration being the undead horror style - cheap, fast to make, guaranteed a profit, etc. - so combining the two would double the audience in theory. Yet as was the case with those shocker apocalypses, the virus was too powerful to contain, and before long the zombies were dominating.

Whether that was due to co-writer James Moran's liking for such things over the guns and geezers was a moot point, as there was plenty on starting out with this which suggested its unruly gang of bank robbers could have continued on their path to criminality and made a perfectly acceptable thriller in their own right. Crucially, however, it probably wouldn't have been half as interesting without its evil twin making an entrance, and besides, the two masterminds behind the robbery - brothers Andy (Harry Treadaway) and Terry (Rasmus Hardiker) - were doing it not for exclusively personal gain, but to help their grandad (Alan Ford) getting a place to live in the area so he didn't have to move North, away from his friends and familiar surroundings where he'd grown up.

They are assisted, if that's the right word, by cousin Katy (Michelle Ryan) who is more capable than any of them, dimwit friend Davey (Jack Doolan), and outright liability Mental Mickey (rapper Ashley Bashy Thomas) who has the can do attitude, but is also a complete psychopath with a metal plate in his head. However, once they get their hands on the unexpected bounty of the construction company's millions in wages, they find the police have been called so take a couple of hostages - sensible Emma (Georgia King) and officious idiot Clive (Tony Gardner) and emerge to face... an empty street. Yes, after all that pussyfooting around the zombies have attacked, and across town they're surrounding a group of venerable British thesps - can they get to the care home and save them?

If you ever wanted to see Richard Briers toting an Uzi 9mm then here was your chance as cartoonish violence ruled the day, what you wanted from your average, lighthearted flesheaters flick. Still, for all the scenes of them being shot in the head and biting chunks out of the cast there was a sincere theme of urban decay, and how we shouldn't dismiss the older generation when they made the area they live in what it is: Grandad has tried to instil a sense of morality in his family which has nearly worked. As the world goes to hell around them, this unlikely bunch of cross-generational allies offer a note of inspiration, though who the zombies were representing in this little metaphor was anyone's guess. Maybe just a general malaise in society. Although not hilarious, this was far better than the premise might suggest, with a neat turn of phrase (not only creative swearing) and a degree of tension to make up for the way it took itself a bit too seriously the further on it went. Great title sequence, too. Music by Jody Jenkins.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark


This review has been viewed 2140 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

Review Comments (0)

Untitled 1

Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.

Latest Poll
Which star probably has psychic powers?
Laurence Fishburne
Nicolas Cage
Anya Taylor-Joy
Patrick Stewart
Sissy Spacek
Michelle Yeoh
Aubrey Plaza
Tom Cruise
Beatrice Dalle
Michael Ironside

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Darren Jones
Andrew Pragasam
Stately Wayne Manor
Enoch Sneed
  Geraint Morgan
Paul Smith
  Lee Fiveash


Last Updated: