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  Embrace of the Vampire Watch Out - He Bites
Year: 1995
Director: Anne Goursaud
Stars: Alyssa Milano, Martin Kemp, Harold Pruett, Rachel True, Jordan Ladd, Jennifer Tilly, Charlotte Lewis, Robbin Julien, David Portlock, Gregg Vance, John Riedlinger, Rebecca Ferratti, Ladd Vance, Lynn Philip Siebel, Glori Gold, Seana Ryan, Sabrina Allen
Genre: Horror, Sex, RomanceBuy from Amazon
Rating:  4 (from 1 vote)
Review: Many centuries ago, this nobleman (Martin Kemp) was in love with a princess, and they used to meet in leafy glades for romantic liaisons though she insisted on keeping her virginity. But one night tragedy struck when he fell asleep at their rendez-vous and awoke to discover himself surrounded by three vampire nymphs who drained his blood thereby transforming him into a bloodsucker like they were. And so all these years he has wandered the dark hours alone, yearning for the time when he could be reunited with his lady love - but could it be that he has found her once again?

Not only that but she's Alyssa Milano from popular sitcom Who's the Boss, showing off her new cosmetic surgically enhanced bosom as if with something to prove in this low level but surprisingly enduring entry into the romantic vampires stakes (pun intended). Indeed, it looks as if Stephenie Meyer was taking notes after renting this one on video, for the basics of her Twilight series would appear to have been drawn from this, not that it was without precedent itself. Embrace of the Vampire was a popular rental in its day anyway, not bothering the insides of cinemas too much because by this time audiences were preferring to watch their soft porn in the privacy of their own homes.

Spandau Ballet member Kemp had been branching out into acting for a while now, since his success with The Krays alongside his brother, and soon would be the talk of British soaps as Eastenders made him a star all over again, but as for his dark, brooding vampire, well... he's a bit of a wimp really, pining over his lost mistress and aiming to turn Milano's Charlotte into one of his kind with a bite. The idea being taken from the Boris Karloff Mummy original, that it was all the more romantic if the male half of the partnership was made to wait a huge amount of time, except in this case we really were meant to feel something emotional for this plight rather than dread that the girl was being stalked from beyond the grave.

Charlotte is a virgin too, and refusing to give up her maidenhead to her boyfriend Chris (Harold Pruett) in spite of seeing him for over a year, but he's a decent sort who is prepared to wait and not pressure her. However, this is what the vampire, who never gets so much as a name, is counting on for as long as she is pure he has a chance to turn her, although he only has three days - three nights, really - to accomplish his task or it's back to the eternal agony of never getting it together with his true love. He's actually more insiduous than dashing, giving Charlotte bad dreams for him to show up in and drop hints, although he does have a line in bumping off anyone who might seem a threat to his plans, though not Chris oddly enough, which might have seemed the obvious method to go to.

Along the way there were, at regular intervals, scenes of Milano getting naked, and the fact she's such a good girl is supposed to make sequences as the one where photography student Charlotte Lewis tries to seduce her all the more racy. It's not just Lewis who is in on the act, as fellow students Rachel True (the worldly but nice one) and Jordan Ladd (the bitchy one) seem liable to rush Charlotte into a decision she'll regret, though Jennifer Tilly also sets her sights on Chris as an envoy of the vampire to drag him away from our heroine. Needless to say, the plot is halfhearted at best, though the director was interesting: Anne Goursaud, an editor for Francis Ford Coppola who forged a minor parallel career in straight to video erotica, not that she can do much to escape the flat look to proceedings thanks to a low budget and Milano being practically the sole star to take her clothes off in it (Kemp shows us his arse - steady). Music by Joseph Williams.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

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