HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
Newest Reviews
Other Lamb, The
Every Time I Die
Lynn + Lucy
Topsy-Turvy
Honest Thief
Blood and Money
Rose: A Love Story
Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made
Om Dar-B-Dar
Silencing, The
J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs and the Church of SubGenius
Dick Johnson is Dead
Two/One
Cognition
Legacy of Lies
I Am Woman
Alien Addiction
Dare, The
South Terminal
Little Monsters
Yield to the Night
My Zoe
Young Playthings
End of Summer
Times of Harvey Milk, The
Buddies
Threshold
Perfectly Normal Family, A
Ravage
Honeymoon Phase, The
One Summer
Bird Island
Variety
Devil to Pay, The
Gypsy
Lost in London
Divorce Italian Style
Becky
Salon Kitty
Misbehaviour
   
 
Newest Articles
Confessions of a Porn Star: Adult Material on DVD
They're Still Not Sure It is a Baby: Eraserhead on Blu-ray
Werewolves are Real: Dog Soldiers on Digital
Rose: A Love Story - Producers April Kelley and Sara Huxley Interview
Phone Phreak: 976-EVIL on Blu-ray
Living the Nightmare: Dementia on Blu-ray
Becky and The Devil to Pay: Ruckus and Lane Skye Interview
Big Top Bloodbath: Circus of Horrors on Blu-ray
A Knock on the Door at 4 O'clock in the Morning: The Strangers on Blu-ray
Wives of the Skies: Honey Lauren Interview
To Catch a Thief: After the Fox on Blu-ray
Tackling the Football Film: The Arsenal Stadium Mystery on Blu-ray
Film Noir's Golden Couple: This Gun for Hire on Blu-ray
The Doctor Who Connection: Invasion on Blu-ray
Hill's Angles: Benny Hill and Who Done It? on Blu-ray
Big Willie Style: Keep It Up Downstairs on Blu-ray
Walt's Vault: 5 Cult Movies on Disney+
Paradise Lost: Walkabout on Blu-ray
Buster Makes Us Feel Good: Buster Keaton - 3 Films (Volume 3) on Blu-ray
Network On Air: Nights In with ABC 3 - Don't Go Away - I Could Do with a Bit of Cheer Now!
What Use is Grief to a Horse? Equus on Blu-ray
For God's Sake Strap Yourselves Down: Flash Gordon on 4K UHD Collector's Edition
Party Hard: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure on Blu-ray
Network On Air: Nights In with ABC 2 - Your Faces are All Blurred!
Eve Knew Her Apples: The Lady Eve on Blu-ray
   
 
  Texas Across the River Laugh Yourself into the Lone Star State
Year: 1966
Director: Michael Gordon
Stars: Dean Martin, Alain Delon, Rosemary Forsyth, Joey Bishop, Tina Aumont, Peter Graves, Michael Ansara, Andrew Prine, Richard Farnsworth, Stuart Anderson
Genre: Western, ComedyBuy from Amazon
Rating:  6 (from 1 vote)
Review: Spanish aristocrat Don Andrea Baldazar (Alain Delon) is set to marry his sweetheart, southern belle Phoebe Ann Naylor (Rosemary Forsyth), when wedding is crashed by cavalry officers led by Captain Rodney Stimpson (Mission Impossible’s Peter Graves). Evidently, Phoebe Ann was a former girlfriend of Stimpson’s cousin, Lieutenant Yancy Cottle (Stuart Anderson), who attempts to abduct the bride and is accidentally slain by Don Andrea. Don Andrea flees across the border to Texas where cowboy Sam Hollis (Dean Martin) and his Indian sidekick Kronk (Joey Bishop) trick him into helping transport a wagonload of guns to the imperilled settlers at Moccasin Flats. After Don Andrea chivalrously rescues an Indian girl called Loneta (achingly lovely Tina Aumont), the quarrelsome duo are pursued by Comanche Indians. Their relationship is further fraught after the ever-lecherous Sam takes a shine to the newly-arrived Phoebe Ann.

“Just the sound of Texas gets me blue in the solar plexus!” sing the Kingston Trio. Their theme tune stands out amidst the surf guitar and Hammond organ soundtrack composed by Sammy Cahn and James Van Heusen, which alongside the cartoon credits sets the goofy tone for this amiable comedy western. A typically knockabout romp from the mid-Sixties, this comes from director Michael Gordon, who made film noir thrillers and the original Cyrano de Bergerac (1950) till he fell victim to the Communist blacklist. Producer Ross Hunter lured Gordon into a comeback directing Doris Day classics Pillow Talk (1959) and Move Over Darling (1963) and Texas Across the River is firmly in that tradition of frothy fun. It is mostly amusing, although veers uncomfortably between satirising mid-western ignorance (e.g. the cavalrymen think wealthy aristocrat Don Andrea a “freeloading immigrant”) and indulging in racist jokes. Just count how many times somebody wisecracks “in the dark all redskins look alike.” As well as casting Rat Pack court jester Joey Bishop as the wacky comedy sidekick, most of the Indians here are portrayed as cowardly, lecherous or plain inept. Plus there comes a truly tasteless gag when Sam complains why wasn’t Kronk born a Comanche and he replies: “Mother run too fast.”

Counterbalancing things slightly is the fact it takes Loneta to show white men how to tame a herd of Longhorn cattle, while Don Andrea decently defends her from the townsfolk who try to hand her over and save their own hides. Half-Spanish Tina Aumont (billed here under her then-married name as Tina Marquand) imbues Loneta with a degree of grace and dignity, belying her casting as a sort of flower child love interest, while Rosemary Forsyth’s delicious southern belle gets a fair shake too, given she is who finally proves Don Andrea’s innocence. The sweet romance that gently unfolds between the Spaniard and the Indian girl is more agreeable than Sam’s frequent attempts to cop a feel off Phoebe Ann. While Dean Martin is his usual laid-back, affable self, Alain Delon shines in an all-too rare comic role. This was another of the French icon’s infrequent attempts to kick-start a Hollywood career and, while no more successful than Once a Thief (1965) or Scorpio (1973), he proves a genuine hoot with his propensity for passionately kissing men on the cheek. “If you aim to stay healthy in these parts you better learn to shake hands”, remarks Sam.

Reviewer: Andrew Pragasam

 

This review has been viewed 3697 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star is the best at shouting?
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Brian Blessed
Tiffany Haddish
Steve Carell
Olivia Colman
Captain Caveman
Sylvester Stallone
Gerard Butler
Samuel L. Jackson
Bipasha Basu
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Paul Smith
Darren Jones
Andrew Pragasam
  Lee Fiveash
  Mick Stewart
Enoch Sneed
  Dsfgsdfg Dsgdsgsdg
   

 

Last Updated: