Newest Reviews
Quiet Place Part II, A
Prisoners of the Ghostland
Duel to the Death
Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands
Yakuza Princess
Djinn, The
New Order
Original Cast Album: Company
Martyrs Lane
Paper Tigers, The
Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It, The
ParaPod: A Very British Ghost Hunt, The
Collini Case, The
Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard
Snake Girl and the Silver-Haired Witch, The
Plan A
When I'm a Moth
Tigers Are Not Afraid
Misha and the Wolves
Yellow Cat
When the Screaming Starts
Sweetie, You Won't Believe It
Lions Love
Night Drive
Toll, The
Last Bus, The
Purple Sea
Newest Articles
The Guns of Nutty Joan: Johnny Guitar on Blu-ray
Intercourse Between Two Worlds: Twin Peaks Fire Walk with Me/The Missing Pieces on Blu-ray
Enjoy the Silents: Early Universal Vol. 1 on Blu-ray
Masterful: The Servant on Blu-ray
70s Sitcom Dads: Bless This House and Father Dear Father on Blu-ray
Going Under: Deep Cover on Blu-ray
Child's Play: Children's Film Foundation Bumper Box Vol. 3 on DVD
Poetry and Motion: Great Noises That Fill the Air on DVD
Too Much to Bear: Prophecy on Blu-ray
Truth Kills: Blow Out on Blu-ray
A Monument to All the Bullshit in the World: 1970s Disaster Movies
Take Care with Peanuts: Interview with Melissa Menta (SVP of Marketing)
Silent is Golden: Futtocks End... and Other Short Stories on Blu-ray
Winner on Losers: West 11 on Blu-ray
Freewheelin' - Bob Dylan: Odds and Ends on Digital
Never Sleep: The Night of the Hunter on Blu-ray
Sherlock vs Ripper: Murder by Decree on Blu-ray
That Ol' Black Magic: Encounter of the Spooky Kind on Blu-ray
She's Evil! She's Brilliant! Basic Instinct on Blu-ray
Hong Kong Dreamin': World of Wong Kar Wai on Blu-ray
Buckle Your Swash: The Devil-Ship Pirates on Blu-ray
Way of the Exploding Fist: One Armed Boxer on Blu-ray
A Lot of Growing Up to Do: Fast Times at Ridgemont High on Blu-ray
Oh My Godard: Masculin Feminin on Blu-ray
Let Us Play: Play for Today Volume 2 on Blu-ray
  Mega Shark versus Giant Octopus On A Seafood Diet
Year: 2009
Director: Jack Perez
Stars: Deborah Gibson, Lorenzo Lamas, Vic Chao, Sean Lawlor, Dean Kreyling, Stephen Blackehart, Dustin Harnish, Mark Hengst, Michael Teh, Jonathan Nation, Chris Haley, Dana DiMatteo, Dana Healey
Genre: Trash, Science FictionBuy from Amazon
Rating:  2 (from 1 vote)
Review: Marine biologist Emma MacNeil (Deborah Gibson) is investigating the sea life around the coast of Alaska, travelling through the water in her borrowed minisub and noting the behavour of the sharks and whales there. The helicopter pilot assisting her radios in that a huge block of ice has broken free of the shoreline, but she is unbothered, at least until the whales begin smashing into the ice, breaking it open and releasing two somethings that Emma does not quite catch sight of, in spite of them being absolutely enormous. These are the prehistoric Mega Shark and the Giant Octopus, and they are about to cause havoc...

Not least upon your attention span, as this is one of the most tedious straight to DVD movies ever made, apparently created by notorious, low budget cash-in merchants The Asylum as an attempt to exploit the infamy of the similarly poorly received Shark Attack 3: Megalodon rather than a big budget hit. As with the Shark Attack film, this effort gained considerable cachet for being a punchline to gags among movie buffs on the internet, but crucially this occured before anyone had seen it. After it was released, the word spread that this did not actually live up to the promise of its title as far as entertainment value went.

To truly provide the enjoyment sorely lacking here, perhaps the production should have been handed over to a Japanese crew, because the sight of the same few nanoseconds of a mega shark powering through the sea repeated over and over again is nothing compared to the fun that's possible with some men in rubber monster suits that Japan became renowned throughout the world for. Ah, the internet, we have so much faith in it so why does it let us down? Mega Yawn versus Giant Shitefest egregiously failed to supply the bouts of monster combat we so wanted, and indeed expected.

Instead, you're subjected to what feels like a million hours of deadening chit-chat, courtesy of eighties stars Lorenzo Lamas (playing a Navy officer intent on blowing up the creatures) and Debbie - sorry, Deborah Gibson whose star may have fallen since her heyday but surely she could have picked a better vehicle than this. Every so often something potentially adrenaline-pumping will occur, such as the highly unlikely instance of the shark jumping thousands of feet into the air to eat a plane, but this will be over with within a blink of the eye, thus returning the viewer to the stodgy dialogue.

It's not even snappy dialogue, and any camp appeal that the audience were hoping in their heart of hearts for is sabotaged by an approach from director Jack Perez which suggests he thought this was supposed to be taken utterly seriously. Deb and company go through all the clich├ęs of, no, not monster movies, but cheap science fiction television, as this feels more like the pilot for a monster of the week show, sort of an update of Kolchak: The Night Stalker, only with big creatures. And in the sea. The only genuinely scary aspect is the promise of a sequel which the movie ends on, not even the shark eating the Golden Gate Bridge (as seen for a couple of picoseconds) can match that prospect. Ready-made kitsch needs a lot more flair and imagination than this to be successful. Music by Chris Ridenhour.

[Metrodome's Region 2 DVD has a making-of featurette, bloopers (not to be confused with the main film) and a trailer as extras.]
Reviewer: Graeme Clark


This review has been viewed 2775 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

Review Comments (0)

Untitled 1

Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.

Latest Poll
Which star probably has psychic powers?
Laurence Fishburne
Nicolas Cage
Anya Taylor-Joy
Patrick Stewart
Sissy Spacek
Michelle Yeoh
Aubrey Plaza
Tom Cruise
Beatrice Dalle
Michael Ironside

Recent Visitors
Jason Cook
Darren Jones
Graeme Clark
Enoch Sneed
Andrew Pragasam
  Desbris M
  Paul Tuersley
  Chris Garbutt


Last Updated: