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  I Know Who Killed Me Tell Us Then
Year: 2007
Director: Chris Sivertson
Stars: Lindsay Lohan, Julia Ormond, Neal McDonough, Garcelle Beauvais, Spencer Garrett, Gregory Itzin, Brian Geraghty, Thomas Tofel, David Figlioli, Rodney Rowland, Bonnie Aarons, Kenya Moore, Michael Adler, Art Bell, Eddie Steeples
Genre: Horror, ThrillerBuy from Amazon
Rating:  4 (from 1 vote)
Review: Aubrey Fleming (Lindsay Lohan) is a high school student who is having doubts about continuing with her piano lessons, particularly when she wishes to concentrate on her writing talents which she thinks will be more beneficial to her. Her piano teacher is less than pleased, but she has made up her mind, and as she goes back to school the next day she has a story forming in her head about some kind of dual nature. She meets Jerrod (Brian Geraghty), who wishes to be her boyfriend though she is not sure how ready he is for a relationship with her - but then their attention is distracted by shocking news...

That shocking news being that Lindsay Lohan was ruining her career appearing in second-rate clever-clever thrillers like this one. No, not really, it concerns the finding of a body who turns out to be a fellow student of Aubrey's, and the media is full of stories that there may be a serial killer on the loose because of the unusual manner in which the body was cut up. This film flirts with the then-fashionable trend for torture in horror movies, so there are scenes of icky amputation and blood oozing from limbs, but they seem to have been dropped in from another film.

Aubrey (not the little orange blob man from the eighties cartoon) is the next victim, and soon the police are conducting a major search for her, but as we see she has been abducted by a villain obsessed with the colour blue (who may have been the director Chris Sivertson on this evidence) and armed with a selection of surgical implements all the better for taking bits and pieces off the girl. Things look bleak for her, until she is found by the side of the road one night soon after - alive! Praise be, but oops, what's this? When she wakes up she claims she doesn't know who this Aubrey is, and insists that she is someone called Dakota.

So is "Dakota" telling the truth, or has she gone a bit nuts after her ordeal and forgotten her true identity? That's what the film asks us, and drags this puzzle out way past the point where your interest will have waned, with the ridiculous explanation (provided by Art Bell of all people) little help. I Know Who Killed Me was one of the roles Lohan took to prove she could take on an adult role, but unfortunately this did not transpire to mean anything many would be willing to take seriously, merely giving her detractors more ammunition: this film garnered a record amount of wins at the Golden Raspberry Awards for the worst movies of the year.

In fact, the director seems to be taking great glee in heaping all this abuse and indignity on who most would recall as a Disney star, as if punishing her for all those wholesome efforts she carried a few short years before she made this. So poor Lindsay has to act the role of a stripper (as Dakota claims to be), but it's O.K. everyone, she's one of those Flashdance strippers who never actually takes all her clothes off, and also computer graphics are employed to make it look as if her foot and her hand have been cut off - an important plot point, but one which makes the film look less like a celebration of female strength through hardship, and more one of outright misogyny. It all ends up very much as countless serial killer thrillers have, with the fight to the death with baddie, but the pretentions this presentation has do it no favours; neither does its laughably convoluted solution. Music by Joel McNeely.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

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