HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
 
Newest Reviews
Fire Will Come
Suspect
Jailbreak Pact
News of the World
Dementer
Beyond Clueless
Stylist, The
Sky is On Fire, The
Wrong Turn
In a Year with 13 Moons
Blush
Strange Affair of Uncle Harry, The
Sinners, The
Tammy and the T-Rex
Archenemy
Zappa
Mindwarp
State Secret
Mogul Mowgli
Owners, The
Twentieth Century, The
Story of Gilbert and Sullivan, The
What Lies Below
Greenland
Broil
Dead Pigs
Willy's Wonderland
It's in the Air
School's Out Forever
Breeder
Stump the Guesser
Sator
Last Warning, The
PVT CHAT
Ascent, The
Clementine
Hurt by Paradise
Saint Maud
Johnny Frenchman
Glitch in the Matrix, A
   
 
Newest Articles
Bzzzt: Pulse on Blu-ray
The Tombs Will Be Their Cities: Demons and Demons 2 on Arrow
Somebody Killed Her Husband: Charade on Blu-ray
Network Double Bills: Maroc 7 and Invasion
Network Double Bills: The Best of Benny Hill and The Likely Lads
Network Double Bills: Some Girls Do and Deadlier Than the Male
Absolutely Bananas: Link on Blu-ray
Network Double Bills: Hawk the Slayer and The Medusa Touch
The Price of Plague: The Masque of the Red Death on Blu-ray
Network Double Bills: Seance on a Wet Afternoon and Ring of Spies
Chaney Chillers: Inner Sanctum Mysteries - The Complete Film Series on Blu-ray
Adelphi Extras: Stars in Your Eyes on Blu-ray
Toons for the Heads: Fantastic Planet and Adult Animation
Nature Girl: The New World on Blu-ray
Network Double Bills: Perfect Friday and Robbery
Network Double Bills: The House in Nightmare Park and The Man Who Haunted Himself
Newley Minted: The Strange World of Gurney Slade on Blu-ray
Bad Love: The Night Porter on Blu-ray
Brevity is the Soul of Weird: Short Sharp Shocks on Blu-ray
Get Your Ass to Mars: Total Recall on Blu-ray
Call the Professionals: Le Cercle Rouge on Blu-ray
When There's No More Room in Hell: Dawn of the Dead on Blu-ray
The Butterfly Effect: Mothra on Blu-ray
Living Room Theatre: Play for Today Volume 1 on Blu-ray
Didn't He Do Well: The Bruce Forsyth Show on DVD
   
 
  I Don't Want To Be Born Big Bastard Baby
Year: 1975
Director: Peter Sasdy
Stars: Joan Collins, Eileen Atkins, Ralph Bates, Donald Pleasence, Caroline Munro, Hilary Mason, John Steiner, Janet Key, George Claydon, Derek Benfield, Stanley Lebor, Judy Buxton, Andrew Secombe, Susan Richards, Phyllis MacMahon, John Moore, Floella Benjamin
Genre: HorrorBuy from Amazon
Rating:  4 (from 1 vote)
Review: Lucy Carlesi (Joan Collins) is giving birth to her first child, but it is an arduous process that prompts the doctor to remark, "This one doesn't want to be born!" But born he is, a bouncing baby boy called Nicholas who is oddly different to most infants, as Lucy's Italian husband Gino (Ralph Bates) finds when he goes in to see them both and sees that the baby has scratched his mother across the face. But this is only the beginning of some strange and violent behaviour for one so young; the distressed Lucy isn't sure, but could this be something to do with her spurning Hercules the dwarf (George Claydon) nine months ago?

Could be! And so begins what was yet another rip-off of The Exorcist and Rosemary's Baby, here combined to have the Devil's child actually in the world as the film begins, and possessed by dark forces so that all these weird occcurences happen about him. This owed a debt to Larry Cohen's recent hit It's Alive as well, because before long the tiny terror turns murderous, although he doesn't look especially scary, in spite of the cast remarking on how abnormally large he is for his age. In fact, all the supposedly sinister closeups of the child we see make it plain that he is utterly oblivious to the demands of the script.

Which naturally will have most viewers laughing their heads off: the vessel for all this evil is just a cute ickle baby and no matter how the film tries manfully to render this chilling, it hits the snag that many horrors (and not only horrors) discover. That is, to really shock your audience is harder than it seems, and if you're trying too hard at the outrageous imagery then it will inescapably become ludicrous, so before long your audience will be tittering and finally roaring with mirth as your would-be ghastliness falls flat on its gurning face.

It doesn't help that everyone in the cast takes this so seriously, as a wink to those watching that this was intended to be a giggle might have made for a more solid entertainment. As it is, derision is all that it spawns, but what can you expect from such absurdities as Ralph Bates' wavering Italian accent to Joan Collins being groped by the magical dwarf, who is a long way from the frights of The Singing Ringing Tree. We are told to believe that Hercules was so incensed at being turned down by Lucy after what he thought was a genuine come-on while they performed their night club act, that he has invoked Satan himself to inhabit the baby.

Then again, we are also meant to believe that this innocent-looking mite has trashed his bedroom, pushed his nanny into a lake where she dies, and will soon be absolutely massive, all of which, needless to say, is somewhat hard to swallow. Familiar faces here include respected theatrical thesp Dame Eileen Atkins as Gino's sister, an actual sister as she is a nun who might have thought about saving us all a load of trouble and performed an exorcism a lot sooner. In addition, Play School presenter Floella Benjamin makes an appearance as a nurse, man of Italian sleaze John Steiner is Lucy's old boss and ex-boyfriend, and Caroline Munro sounding dubbed as Lucy's best friend offers no assistance other than providing a shoulder to cry on. In this film's aims to be chilling, it is hopeless, but as a comedy, it's funnier than much of the British film industry's attempts in that area from this time. Music by Ron Grainer.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 3883 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (2)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star probably has psychic powers?
Laurence Fishburne
Nicolas Cage
Anya Taylor-Joy
Patrick Stewart
Sissy Spacek
Michelle Yeoh
Aubrey Plaza
Tom Cruise
Beatrice Dalle
Michael Ironside
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
  Chris Garbutt
  Sdfadf Rtfgsdf
Darren Jones
Andrew Pragasam
Stately Wayne Manor
Enoch Sneed
  Geraint Morgan
   

 

Last Updated: