HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
 
Newest Reviews
Merchant of Four Seasons, The
Love of Jeanne Ney, The
Blonde. Purple
Dirty Ho
Annette
Shepherd
Dying to Divorce
Bad Luck Banging or Loony Porn
Trouble with Being Born, The
Last Matinee, The
Strings, The
Free Hand for a Tough Cop
People Just Do Nothing: Big in Japan
Dear Future Children
Accidental Luxuriance of the Translucent Watery Rebus
Swallow
Thin Red Line, The
Petite Maman
Fast & Furious 9
Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat
Sweet Thing
Maelstrom
Father, The
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
Night House, The
Father of Flies
80,000 Years Old
Dead & Beautiful
Bull
Censor
Sleep
Freaky
Nightbooks
Whisker Away, A
Wild Indian
Whale Island
Chuck Steel: Night of the Trampires
Don't Breathe 2
Closing Time
Cryptozoo
   
 
Newest Articles
Keeping the Beatles Alive: Get Back
The Punk Rock Movie: Out of the Blue on Blu-ray
Yeah, Too Quiet: The Great Silence on Blu-ray
Vestron Double Bill: Dementia 13 and The Wraith
Farewell Dean Stockwell: His Years of Weirdness
Kung Fu Craft: Cinematic Vengeance! on Blu-ray
999 Letsbe Avenue: Gideon's Way on Blu-ray
Hungary for Cartoons: Hungarian Animations on MUBI
You Have No Choice: Invasion of the Body Snatchers on Blu-ray
You Can't Tame What's Meant to Be Wild: The Howling on Blu-ray
Commendably Brief: Short Sharp Shocks Vol. 2 on Blu-ray
Super Silents: Early Universal Vol. 2 on Blu-ray
Fable Fear: The Singing Ringing Tree on Blu-ray
Gunsight Eyes: The Sabata Trilogy on Blu-ray
Bloody Bastard Baby: The Monster/I Don't Want to Be Born on Blu-ray
Night of the Animated Dead: Director Jason Axinn Interview
The ParaPod: A Very British Ghost Hunt - Interview with Director/Star Ian Boldsworth
On the Right Track: Best of British Transport Films Vol. 2
The Guns of Nutty Joan: Johnny Guitar on Blu-ray
Intercourse Between Two Worlds: Twin Peaks Fire Walk with Me/The Missing Pieces on Blu-ray
Enjoy the Silents: Early Universal Vol. 1 on Blu-ray
Masterful: The Servant on Blu-ray
70s Sitcom Dads: Bless This House and Father Dear Father on Blu-ray
Going Under: Deep Cover on Blu-ray
Child's Play: Children's Film Foundation Bumper Box Vol. 3 on DVD
   
 
  I Don't Want To Be Born Big Bastard Baby
Year: 1975
Director: Peter Sasdy
Stars: Joan Collins, Eileen Atkins, Ralph Bates, Donald Pleasence, Caroline Munro, Hilary Mason, John Steiner, Janet Key, George Claydon, Derek Benfield, Stanley Lebor, Judy Buxton, Andrew Secombe, Susan Richards, Phyllis MacMahon, John Moore, Floella Benjamin
Genre: HorrorBuy from Amazon
Rating:  4 (from 1 vote)
Review: Lucy Carlesi (Joan Collins) is giving birth to her first child, but it is an arduous process that prompts the doctor to remark, "This one doesn't want to be born!" But born he is, a bouncing baby boy called Nicholas who is oddly different to most infants, as Lucy's Italian husband Gino (Ralph Bates) finds when he goes in to see them both and sees that the baby has scratched his mother across the face. But this is only the beginning of some strange and violent behaviour for one so young; the distressed Lucy isn't sure, but could this be something to do with her spurning Hercules the dwarf (George Claydon) nine months ago?

Could be! And so begins what was yet another rip-off of The Exorcist and Rosemary's Baby, here combined to have the Devil's child actually in the world as the film begins, and possessed by dark forces so that all these weird occcurences happen about him. This owed a debt to Larry Cohen's recent hit It's Alive as well, because before long the tiny terror turns murderous, although he doesn't look especially scary, in spite of the cast remarking on how abnormally large he is for his age. In fact, all the supposedly sinister closeups of the child we see make it plain that he is utterly oblivious to the demands of the script.

Which naturally will have most viewers laughing their heads off: the vessel for all this evil is just a cute ickle baby and no matter how the film tries manfully to render this chilling, it hits the snag that many horrors (and not only horrors) discover. That is, to really shock your audience is harder than it seems, and if you're trying too hard at the outrageous imagery then it will inescapably become ludicrous, so before long your audience will be tittering and finally roaring with mirth as your would-be ghastliness falls flat on its gurning face.

It doesn't help that everyone in the cast takes this so seriously, as a wink to those watching that this was intended to be a giggle might have made for a more solid entertainment. As it is, derision is all that it spawns, but what can you expect from such absurdities as Ralph Bates' wavering Italian accent to Joan Collins being groped by the magical dwarf, who is a long way from the frights of The Singing Ringing Tree. We are told to believe that Hercules was so incensed at being turned down by Lucy after what he thought was a genuine come-on while they performed their night club act, that he has invoked Satan himself to inhabit the baby.

Then again, we are also meant to believe that this innocent-looking mite has trashed his bedroom, pushed his nanny into a lake where she dies, and will soon be absolutely massive, all of which, needless to say, is somewhat hard to swallow. Familiar faces here include respected theatrical thesp Dame Eileen Atkins as Gino's sister, an actual sister as she is a nun who might have thought about saving us all a load of trouble and performed an exorcism a lot sooner. In addition, Play School presenter Floella Benjamin makes an appearance as a nurse, man of Italian sleaze John Steiner is Lucy's old boss and ex-boyfriend, and Caroline Munro sounding dubbed as Lucy's best friend offers no assistance other than providing a shoulder to cry on. In this film's aims to be chilling, it is hopeless, but as a comedy, it's funnier than much of the British film industry's attempts in that area from this time. Music by Ron Grainer.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 4402 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (2)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star probably has psychic powers?
Laurence Fishburne
Nicolas Cage
Anya Taylor-Joy
Patrick Stewart
Sissy Spacek
Michelle Yeoh
Aubrey Plaza
Tom Cruise
Beatrice Dalle
Michael Ironside
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Darren Jones
Andrew Pragasam
Jason Cook
Enoch Sneed
  Desbris M
  Paul Tuersley
  Chris Garbutt
   

 

Last Updated: