HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
 
Newest Reviews
Morfalous, Les
Dreambuilders
Everything Went Fine
Lux AEterna
Rum Runners
Fairy and the Devil, The
Mad God
Outside the Law
I Remember Mama
Superman Unbound
Lawrence of Belgravia
House Across the Lake, The
Wonder Park
Hornsby e Rodriguez
Operation Mincemeat
5 Kung Fu Daredevil Heroes
Scoob!
Earwig
Offseason
Peau Douce, La
Double Indemnity
Na Cha and the Seven Devils
Deep Murder
Superman vs. the Elite
Adam Project, The
Osamu Tezuka's Last Mystery of the 20th Century
Horse, La
Buffaloed
Train Robbers, The
Let Sleeping Cops Lie
Abominable
Funeral, The
Burning Sea, The
Godzilla Singular Point
Ace of Aces
Innocents, The
Beast and the Magic Sword, The
Last Hard Men, The
Found Footage Phenomenon, The
Night Trap
   
 
Newest Articles
3 From Arrow Player: Sweet Sugar, Girls Nite Out and Manhattan Baby
Little Cat Feat: Stephen King's Cat's Eye on 4K UHD
La Violence: Dobermann at 25
Serious Comedy: The Wrong Arm of the Law on Blu-ray
DC Showcase: Constantine - The House of Mystery and More on Blu-ray
Monster Fun: Three Monster Tales of Sci-Fi Terror on Blu-ray
State of the 70s: Play for Today Volume 3 on Blu-ray
The Movie Damned: Cursed Films II on Shudder
The Dead of Night: In Cold Blood on Blu-ray
Suave and Sophisticated: The Persuaders! Take 50 on Blu-ray
Your Rules are Really Beginning to Annoy Me: Escape from L.A. on 4K UHD
A Woman's Viewfinder: The Camera is Ours on DVD
Chaplin's Silent Pursuit: Modern Times on Blu-ray
The Ecstasy of Cosmic Boredom: Dark Star on Arrow
A Frosty Reception: South and The Great White Silence on Blu-ray
You'll Never Guess Which is Sammo: Skinny Tiger and Fatty Dragon on Blu-ray
Two Christopher Miles Shorts: The Six-Sided Triangle/Rhythm 'n' Greens on Blu-ray
Not So Permissive: The Lovers! on Blu-ray
Uncomfortable Truths: Three Shorts by Andrea Arnold on MUBI
The Call of Nostalgia: Ghostbusters Afterlife on Blu-ray
Moon Night - Space 1999: Super Space Theater on Blu-ray
Super Sammo: Warriors Two and The Prodigal Son on Blu-ray
Sex vs Violence: In the Realm of the Senses on Blu-ray
What's So Funny About Brit Horror? Vampira and Bloodbath at the House of Death on Arrow
Keeping the Beatles Alive: Get Back
   
 
  No Orchids for Miss Blandish Lady Don't Fall Backwards
Year: 1948
Director: St John L. Clowes
Stars: Linden Travers, Jack La Rue, Hugh McDermott, Lila Molnar, Zoe Gail, Leslie Bradley, Danny Green, Charles Goldner, Walter Crisham, MacDonald Parke, Michael Balfour, Percy Marmont, Frances Marsden, Bill O'Connor, John McLaren, Jack Lester, Sid James
Genre: Thriller, TrashBuy from Amazon
Rating:  4 (from 1 vote)
Review: Miss Blandish (Linden Travers) is the daughter of a millionaire meat supplier, and all set to marry her fiancé soon, so who is it that sends her orchids accompanied by enigmatic cards with two dice printed on them? She asks them to be sent straight back with the message, "No orchids for Miss Blandish", but her path will cross with her admirer soon enough, only not in the way she could have imagined. Her maid is spying on her, and she passes on the information to her boyfriend Johnny (Bill O'Connor) of where Miss Blandish will be spending her next few days, giving him the perfect opportunity to thieve her famed diamonds, but he needs help. How about taking his plans to local club owner and gang boss Ma Grisson (Lila Molnar) and her son, the feared Slim (Jack La Rue)? Slim is certainly interested in the heiress...

What an enormous fuss this film kicked up when it was first released in Britain. Now almost completely forgotten, it was part of the pattern of moral outrage that has followed cinema in that country since its inception, where every ten or twenty years or so a film (or genre) will be held up as morally corrupting and the newspapers and campaigners descend on them as fuel to their indignant fire. There were even, as is traditional, questions asked in Parliament about this effort as to how exactly it was passed as fit for public consumption, such was its supposedly "sickening" violence. Of course, watching it now seems ridiculous than anyone could take it so seriously, as it's no worse than can be seen on any current television soap opera's racy plotlines.

The script was adapted by director St. John L. Clowes (who unsurprisingly never directed again) from the popular (and notoriously trashy) novel by James Hadley Chase, doing its best to capture the lurid spirit of the source, and to be fair, it does manage a certain sensationalist ambience. Unfortunately, it's painfully obvious that this British production is valiantly trying and failing to emulate the film noir-ish hits of America, and most of the actors except Travers are struggling with accents of a risible quality unheard of until Carry On Cowboy came along in the sixties. Well, to be fair La Rue was actually American, but you find yourself even criticising his vocal stylings along with the others.

What happens is that Miss Blandish ends up kidnapped by the robbers, who then meet untimely demises when one of them turns out to be a murderous psychopath and beats the fiancé to death. One thing leads to another, and she is re-kidnapped by Slim, intervening, but then falls in love with him and he with her - it was Slim who was sending the orchids. He takes her back to his nightclub to hide her away until the trouble blows over, and take a moment to ponder on those acts: a couple of manic dancers, a singer of ludicrous but supposedly risque songs, and a comedian whose impressions of Sydney Greenstreet and Peter Lorre don't sound anything like them. As for the much publicised violence, it's stronger compared to other British films of the time, but seeing Sid James get a bottle smashed over his head doesn't really shock these days. So what you're left with is fitfully entertaining, yet largely unintentionally funny gangster nonsense that climaxes in a scene of melodramatic hilarity. Music by George Melachrino.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 4321 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star probably has psychic powers?
Laurence Fishburne
Nicolas Cage
Anya Taylor-Joy
Patrick Stewart
Sissy Spacek
Michelle Yeoh
Aubrey Plaza
Tom Cruise
Beatrice Dalle
Michael Ironside
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Enoch Sneed
Darren Jones
Andrew Pragasam
Graeme Clark
Mary Sibley
  Desbris M
  Sheila Reeves
Paul Smith
   

 

Last Updated: