HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
 
Newest Reviews
We Need to Do Something
Falbalas
Vanguard
A-X-L
Injustice
Bigfoot Hunters
Armitage III: Polymatrix
Girls Nite Out
Moxie!
Five Women for the Killer
Dolce Vita, La
Pig
I Am Belmaya
Lodger, The
Show, The
Beta Test, The
Medium, The
John and the Hole
Survivalist, The
Ape Woman, The
Black Widow
Cop Secret
Dark Eyes of London, The
V/H/S/94
Fay Grim
Night of the Animated Dead
Freshman Year
Escape Room: Tournament of Champions
Anne at 13,000 Ft.
Even Mice Belong in Heaven
Death Screams
Freakscene: The Story of Dinosaur Jr.
Demonia
East, The
Mandabi
Seance
Green Knight, The
Beasts of No Nation
One of Our Aircraft is Missing
Picture Stories
   
 
Newest Articles
Commendably Brief: Short Sharp Shocks Vol. 2 on Blu-ray
Super Silents: Early Universal Vol. 2 on Blu-ray
Fable Fear: The Singing Ringing Tree on Blu-ray
Gunsight Eyes: The Sabata Trilogy on Blu-ray
Bloody Bastard Baby: The Monster/I Don't Want to Be Born on Blu-ray
Night of the Animated Dead: Director Jason Axinn Interview
The ParaPod: A Very British Ghost Hunt - Interview with Director/Star Ian Boldsworth
On the Right Track: Best of British Transport Films Vol. 2
The Guns of Nutty Joan: Johnny Guitar on Blu-ray
Intercourse Between Two Worlds: Twin Peaks Fire Walk with Me/The Missing Pieces on Blu-ray
Enjoy the Silents: Early Universal Vol. 1 on Blu-ray
Masterful: The Servant on Blu-ray
70s Sitcom Dads: Bless This House and Father Dear Father on Blu-ray
Going Under: Deep Cover on Blu-ray
Child's Play: Children's Film Foundation Bumper Box Vol. 3 on DVD
Poetry and Motion: Great Noises That Fill the Air on DVD
Too Much to Bear: Prophecy on Blu-ray
Truth Kills: Blow Out on Blu-ray
A Monument to All the Bullshit in the World: 1970s Disaster Movies
Take Care with Peanuts: Interview with Melissa Menta (SVP of Marketing)
Silent is Golden: Futtocks End... and Other Short Stories on Blu-ray
Winner on Losers: West 11 on Blu-ray
Freewheelin' - Bob Dylan: Odds and Ends on Digital
Never Sleep: The Night of the Hunter on Blu-ray
Sherlock vs Ripper: Murder by Decree on Blu-ray
   
 
  Critters Making A Meal Of It
Year: 1986
Director: Stephen Herek
Stars: Dee Wallace, M. Emmet Walsh, Billy Green Bush, Scott Grimes, Nadine Van der Velde, Billy Zane, Don Keith Opper, Terrence Mann, Ethan Philips, Jeremy Lawrence, Lin Shaye
Genre: Science FictionBuy from Amazon
Rating:  5 (from 2 votes)
Review: There is a breakout from a prison asteroid in deep space and the Krites, small furry creatures with voracious appetites, escape in a spaceship with enough fuel to take them across the galaxy. Two bounty hunters are sent after them, and they all end up headed for planet Earth, specifically Kansas, where a small town carries on with their lives oblivious to the approaching threat. In a farmhouse, the Brown family start the day much as any other, with mother Helen (Dee Wallace) preparing breakfast, father Jay (Billy Green Bush) tinkering and kids Brad (Scott Grimes) and April (Nadine Van der Velde) arguing. However, by nightfall they will be forced to band together as the Krites arrive looking for something to eat...

Written by Domonic Muir and director Stephen Herek, Critters proved that Gremlins had a lot to answer for in the small, hungry monsters stakes. Where the Joe Dante film had opted for a quasi-mystical explanation for its villains, this film takes the easy way out and has them hail from outer space, which means they're intelligent enough to fly a spacecraft but still led by their most basic instincts. The script is pretty coy about revealing its creatures for the first half hour, despite the fact that anyone who had seen any of the advertising would know immediately what they looked like, which in this case was a wolverine crossed with the Looney Tunes Tasmanian Devil.

They sound a bit like the Tasmanian Devil as well, and are helpfully subtitled for their limited dialogue, including a four letter outburst from one of them at a tense moment. The human story we see, meanwhile, concentrates on making the family as smalltown typical as possible, with Brad (the film's unofficial hero) setting off firecrackers and taking the blame for hitting his sister with a slingshot, and April proudly bringing her new boyfriend home to show off - this boyfriend is played by a pre-fame Billy Zane with a ponytail. All very ordinary, and if you've ever seen an American science fiction film from the fifties onwards, you'll know they're easy pickings for a casual alien to stop by for a little light mayhem.

This relentless ordinariness does the story no favours, but the bounty hunters are even worse. One takes the human form of a poodle rock singer he watches on an Earth broadcast, supposedly to make him cool but probably even then coming across as ridiculous, while the other adopts the appearance of various humans he encounters around the town. By the time they land, the Krites have started their campaign of terror around the farmhouse, chewing the wires so that the power goes out, eating a nearby cow (cattle mutilations, anyone?) and attacking Jay when he ventures down to the basement to find out what is going on.

The Critters are realised through the simple medium of puppetry, but the Muppets they ain't, even if they do resemble the drummer Animal. A puppet show is what the film grows into, with its baddies demonstrating such tricks as rolling along the ground at high speeds and firing off darts from the spines in their backs. All the while, the bounty hunters demolish certain buildings around the town for no good reason other than to pad out the running time - the film would have been even shorter without them, but the humans' resourcefulness would have been better tested. That's not to say there aren't amusing bits, there are: see the Critter who swallows a firecracker or the way a policeman being eaten is compared with Helen shoving scraps down the waste disposal. It's just that Critters displays about as much wit as blowing raspberries; but I'll admit sometimes that's all you need. Music by David Newman.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 8754 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (3)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star probably has psychic powers?
Laurence Fishburne
Nicolas Cage
Anya Taylor-Joy
Patrick Stewart
Sissy Spacek
Michelle Yeoh
Aubrey Plaza
Tom Cruise
Beatrice Dalle
Michael Ironside
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Andrew Pragasam
Darren Jones
Jason Cook
Enoch Sneed
  Desbris M
  Paul Tuersley
  Chris Garbutt
   

 

Last Updated: