HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
Newest Reviews
Looking On the Bright Side
Take Me Somewhere Nice
Simon
Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn
Gentlemen Broncos
To the Stars
Lady Godiva Rides Again
Angelfish
Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ
Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, A
This is a Hijack
Loved One, The
Jumanji: The Next Level
Krabi 2562
Call of the Wild, The
Diary of a Country Priest
Sea Fever
Throw Down
Grudge, The
Green Man, The
Specialists, The
Convoy
Romantic Comedy
Going Ape!
Rabid
Infinite Football
Little Women
Camino Skies
Ema
Another Shore
Cry Havoc
Legend of the Stardust Brothers, The
Mystery Team
Westward the Women
Demonwarp
Man Who Killed Don Quixote, The
Chloe
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure
Murder Inferno
Extraction
   
 
Newest Articles
Who Watched The Watchmen?
The Golden Age of Colonic Irrigation: Monty Python Series 4 on Blu-ray
Lady of Pleasure: Lola Montes on Blu-ray
Take You to the Gay Bar: Funeral Parade of Roses on Blu-ray
Hit for Ms: Mark Cousins' Women Make Film on Blu-ray
Look Sinister: The 1000 Eyes of Dr. Mabuse on Blu-ray
Star Wars Triple Threat: The Tricky Third Prequel and Sequel
I Can See for Miles: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes on Blu-ray
Too Much Pressure: The Family Way on Blu-ray
The Alan Key: Alan Klein and What a Crazy World on Blu-ray
A Japanese Ghost Story: Kwaidan on Blu-ray
The Zu Gang: Zu Warriors from the Magic Mountain on Blu-ray
Reality TV: The Year of the Sex Olympics on DVD
The Young and the Damned: They Live By Night on Blu-ray
Mind How You Go: The Best of COI on Blu-ray
Der Kommissar's in Town: Babylon Berlin Series 3 on DVD
The End of Civilisation as We Know It: The 50th Anniversary
The Whalebone Box: The Andrew Kotting Interview
Being Human: The Elephant Man on 4K UHD Blu-ray
It's! Monty Python's Flying Circus Series 3 on Blu-ray
Put the Boot In: Villain on Blu-ray
The Children's Film Foundation Bumper Box Vol. 2: Vic Pratt Interview
All the Lonely People: Sunday Bloody Sunday on Blu-ray
Desperate Characters: Beat the Devil on Blu-ray
Chansons d'Amour: Alfie Darling on Blu-ray
   
 
  Expendables 3, The Beezer Geezers
Year: 2014
Director: Patrick Hughes
Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mel Gibson, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Kelsey Grammer, Glen Powell, Antonio Banderas, Victor Ortiz, Ronda Rousey, Kellan Lutz, Jet Li, Robert Davi
Genre: Action, Thriller, AdventureBuy from Amazon
Rating:  5 (from 1 vote)
Review: There's an armoured prison transport train thundering down these desert tracks, taking an extremely dangerous prisoner to his destination of a high security jail. But someone has other ideas about him reaching that: cue a large helicopter flown by mercenary Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) which swoops down from the skies while his cohorts, also known as The Expendables, take aim with their automatic weapons. They are spotted, but Ross avoids the heavy duty artillery on the train thanks to some fancy flying, then a well-placed cable knocks the guards from the top of the carriages, leaving it possible for the team to free the prisoner. Who is he? Only Doc (Wesley Snipes)!

Who? Well, it's not the character that's important, it's the actor, as this was an Expendables movie and that meant each performer carried a lot of baggage, film-wise. However, something was different this time, it seemed the diehard fans of these action heroes were disgruntled, and it was all to do with the rating this received for cinema exhibition: PG-13 in the United States, and 12A in the United Kingdom, basically the studio had toned the feature down to make it more suitable for kids. By going after the Fast and Furious market, they hoped to widen the possible audience, not realising that meant the followers of the franchise who relished its more grown-up, ageing he-man appeal was what made these what they were.

There was a television show back in the nineteen-eighties, the true heyday of not only many of the cast but the action genre too, which also traded in bullets, explosions and wisecracks, and that was The A-Team. Viewers lapped it up for its first season, this was what they wanted from their home entertainment if they couldn't get to the video rental store, but then a funny thing happened when those viewers noticed not only was there but one plot to every episode, but nobody really got hurt as the violence couldn't be bloodthirsty, they had to keep it family friendly. Nobody got killed, basically, so where was the peril? The Expendables 3 suffered that syndrome too, fair enough anonymous extras in balaclavas were shot dead (not literally), but the violence was far from brutal.

On the other hand, if you had shown the cut version of the movie to a fan and never told them the rating, they might have difficulty noticing the changes, this was very much of a piece with the others, so much so that if it was not for the new cast members you would be forgiven for thinking you were watching the same film again. So perhaps it was familiarity breeding contempt, or maybe it was Mel Gibson who played the villain? True to form, within a couple of minutes of appearing he had gunned down the first black man he saw, Expendables regular Terry Crews, which is supposed to be emotionally wrenching but he only had a couple of lines before being shot anyway. The actual reason for Crews spending the rest of the movie in hospital was down to his other commitments, but with Gibson wielding the rifle it was just as well we were supposed to be booing him.

Not that this setback toned down the banter, as ever the key to action flick quips was to pretend that men were ladies, so the cast set about their dialogue as if they were Polari-spouting homosexualist gentlemen bitching in some nineteen-sixties Soho gay bar. But what was this? An actual woman in the cast? It was true, martial arts champ Ronda Rousey was our token female, pausing briefly on her way to a Fast and Furious entry more appropriate to her talents, but she was part of writer Stallone's try at introducing fresh blood, so she appeared alongside a younger team of Expendables Ross assembles when the oldies fail to impress him. Naturally, these young bucks are quickly foiled when capturing Mel Gibson (whose pontificating becomes swiftly tiresome) so it turns out they were only there to illustrate the old geezers were far more able than the younger generation, valuing experience over youth. Not too much of a shock, but yet another reason this was mismarketed, an elderly Harrison Ford in a choppa wouldn't cut the mustard with ver kids anymore. Music by Brian Tyler.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 1636 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star is the best at shouting?
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Brian Blessed
Tiffany Haddish
Steve Carell
Olivia Colman
Captain Caveman
Sylvester Stallone
Gerard Butler
Samuel L. Jackson
Bipasha Basu
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Enoch Sneed
  Hannah Prosser
Andrew Pragasam
Darren Jones
  Butch Elliot
  Rachel Franke
Paul Smith
   

 

Last Updated: