Ladies, Gentlemen, and Children, welcome to - officially - the worst Carry On movie of them all.....
Picture the scene: it's 1940, and Britain is at war with the nasty Hun. Keeping the Luftwaffe at bay are the brave flying boys of the RAF, ably supported by our Air Defence battalions.... well, all but one. One of the bases along ths South coast is an experimental, mixed-sex battalion. And it's the mixing of the sexes that causes all the problems - until High Command decide on a new way of dealing with them - sheer incompetence. They pick the worst commanding officer in the RAF, and send him on down to sort things out.......
We learn a few things whilst watching this movie. We learn that Patrick Mower was never cut out for a comedic lead role. We learn that you can't just lift a couple of stars from 'It Aint Half Hot Mum' and expect them to work in a movie. We learn that actresses with their tits out doesn't always raise even a laugh, let alone anything else. And we learn that, sadly, the great days of Carry On had passed.
I can really sum the movie up, however, by repeating what I feel is the best line in the movie. It's in the opening credits, and goes as follows: "We would like to thank The Imperial War Museum for the loan of the gun."
It's a no-star, one-gag, one-gun movie. And the Gun is funnier than the joke. Not the way I'd want the series to go out.
C.O. England is rotten, but at least it has a story, unlike C.O. Emanuelle, which gets my vote as worst. I don't think Columbus really counts!
20 Feb 2007
Diane Langton was cute in her small role, and the part where she tries to aim the anti-aircraft gun (but her breasts get in the way) is amusing in a childish, really shit, giggling at the back of the classroom way...but apart from that, yes, definitely the very worst Carry On film. And Columbus most certainly DOESN'T count!