HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
Newest Reviews
Moonchild
Verite, La
Guilty, The
Stranger in the House
Redcon-1
G.G. Passion
Chien Andalou, Un
Boar
Bulldog Drummond
First Man
Machete Maidens Unleashed!
Cannibal Club, The
Grasshopper, The
Searching
Human Desire
Climax
Stiff Upper Lips
American Animals
Outlaws
Venom
World on a Wire
Velvet Buzzsaw
Picnic
Dick Dickman, PI
Hunter Killer
30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock, The
Race for the Yankee Zephyr
Boys in the Band, The
Brainscan
T-Men
   
 
Newest Articles
He-Maniacs: Ridiculous 80s Action
All's Welles That Ends Welles: Orson Welles Great Mysteries Volume 1 on DVD
Shut It! The Sweeney Double Bill: Two Blu-rays from Network
Network Sitcom Movie Double Bill: Till Death Us Do Part and Man About the House on Blu-ray
No, THIS Must Be the Place: True Stories on Blu-ray
Alf Garnett's Life After Death: Till Death... and The Thoughts of Chairman Alf on DVD
Balance of Power: Harold Pinter at the BBC on DVD
Strange Days 2: The Second Science Fiction Weirdness Wave
Strange Days: When Science Fiction Went Weird
Ha Ha Haaargh: Interview With Camp Death III in 2D! Director Matt Frame
Phone Freak: When a Stranger Calls on Blu-ray
A Name to Conjure With: David Nixon's Magic Box on DVD
Which 1950s Sci-Fi was Scariest? Invaders from Mars vs The Blob
The Empire Strikes Back: Khartoum vs Carry On Up the Khyber
Stan and Ollie's Final Folly: Atoll K on Blu-ray
   
 
  Ice Pirates, The Cold ComfortBuy this film here.
Year: 1984
Director: Stewart Raffill
Stars: Robert Ulrich, Mary Crosby, Michael D. Roberts, Anjelica Huston, John Matuszak, Ron Perlman, John Carradine, Natalie Core, Jeremy West, Bruce Vilanch, Alan Caillou, Marcia Lewis, Daryl Keith Roach, Robert Symonds, Ian Abercrombie, Hank Worden
Genre: Comedy, Science Fiction, Adventure
Rating:  4 (from 2 votes)
Review: It is the far future in a galaxy far, far away and water has become a precious commodity thanks to how little is left, with only one planet containing it in any abundance. As the ruling Templars have ensured that they control the dealings with the H2O, in the form of large blocks of ice, the only way most people can get their hands on it in any quantity is through those rogues willing to turn to piracy and steal the ice from under the noses of the authorities. One of those bands of pirates is led by Jason (Robert Ulrich), but this time he finds something he did not expect...

If you ever watched Star Wars and thought, "Where are the castration jokes? This could really do with more castration jokes," then Ice Pirates was the movie for you, a spoof of the George Lucas epic in that it took the derring do of the old time pirate movie, shiver me timbers and all that, much as Lucas had adopted the old serial format, and set it in space for a science fiction space opera. Only this had an ambition to be funny, hence some very strange gags which would seem to be pitched at a different audience who would have enjoyed this better if it had been a straight ahead sci-fi effort, though granted there were plenty of those.

Future Mac and Me director Stewart Raffill was the brains behind this one, demonstrating his sense of humour in quips and comic situations tending towards the more grown up rather than what happened in your average episode of Battlestar Galactica (original version). As every pirate flick needed a damsel in distress for our dashing hero to save, Mary Crosby showed up, well cast as an imperious Princess, for banter with Ulrich and a gradual thawing of relations between her and Jason. Also along for the ride was the robot building sidekick Michael D. Roberts for misjudged racial humour, Anjelica Huston playing it very seriously as a pirate girl, and a surprisingly short Ron Perlman getting his hand cut off.

The trouble with this was that unless you were a hardcore science fiction fan who welcomed any kind of parody based on your most beloved genre as long as you got the jokes and they weren't too meanspirited at your own expense, there really wasn't much too funny here. The plot was all over the place, all over the galaxy certainly, as our heroes get captured, escape, go on a mission to track down the Princess's father, and get distracted every five minutes by a source of supposed humour, slightly amusing in its haphazard fashion, but undisciplined as it strove to pack in the oddly queasy ribticklers. It wouldn't have been too bad if it were either witty or downright daffy, but neither was the case.

Any film which could boast a cameo by John Carradine (looking positively decrepit) and a supporting role from celebrity comedian and writer Bruce Vilanch as a robot whose head comes off, not that it stops him making with the jolly japes, was at at least containing some degree of novelty value, and it's true that say, a kung fu kicking robot was likely to raise a chuckle in this context. Yet for too much of the time there were passages which didn't have any comedy at all - were we supposed to take these bits sincerely? - followed by aggressively facetious business such as the ship being invaded by space herpes (actually a slimy little parasite with teeth), or those aforementioned castration parts where Jason and company narrowly avoid the Templars' sentence for crossing them. At least the ending which gave in and turned outright goofy displayed a measure of the tone the rest of it should have opted for, with a time warp providing a ridiculous method of saving the good guys. Music by Bruce Broughton.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 1675 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (3)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star do you think makes the best coffee?
Emma Stone
Anna Kendrick
Michelle Rodriguez
Sir Patrick Stewart
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
George White
Enoch Sneed
Stately Wayne Manor
Paul Smith
Andrew Pragasam
Darren Jones
Aseels Almasi
   

 

Last Updated: