HOME |  JOIN |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
Newest Reviews
Aurora Encounter, The
Breaking In
Breaking In
Please Stand By
Cockeyed Cowboys of Calico County, The
Deadpool 2
Smart Money
Lupin the Third vs. Detective Conan: The Movie
Gangsta
3 Nuts in Search of a Bolt
Magic Serpent, The
That's Not Me
There Goes the Bride
Billy the Kid versus Dracula
Liquid Sword
I, Tonya
Universal Soldier: Regeneration
Bad Match
Güeros
Anchor and Hope
One, The
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie
Lucky
Still of the Night
Home Sweet Homicide
Mannaja - A Man Called Blade
Spitfire
Killers from Space
Castle of the Creeping Flesh
Ghost Stories
   
 
Newest Articles
I-Spy Scotland: The Thirty Nine Steps and Eye of the Needle
Manor On Movies--Black Shampoo--three three three films in one
Manor On Movies--Invasion USA
Time Trap: Last Year in Marienbad and La Jetée
Gaining Three Stone: Salvador, Natural Born Killers and Savages
Right Said Bernard: Cribbins on DVD
1969: The Year Westerns Couldn't Get Past
A Network Horror Double Bill: Assault and Death Line on Blu-ray
The Edie Levy: Edie Sedgwick, Andy Warhol and Ciao! Manhattan
The Ultimate Trip: The Original Psychedelic Movies
Players of Games: Willy Wonka, Tron and Ready Player One
What Am I Doing Hangin' 'Round? The Ends of The Monkees
Flings and Arrows: Conquest vs Flesh + Blood
Orson Around: F for Fake and The Late Great Planet Earth
ITC What You Did There: Retro-Action on Blu-ray
   
 
  Cottage, The Country LifeBuy this film here.
Year: 2008
Director: Paul Andrew Williams
Stars: Andy Serkis, Reece Shearsmith, Jennifer Ellison, Stephen O'Donnell, Dave Legeno, Logan Wong, Jonathan Chan-Pensley, Simon Schatzberger, Doug Bradley, Steven Berkoff
Genre: Horror, Comedy
Rating:  5 (from 1 vote)
Review: Brothers David (Andy Serkis) and Peter (Reece Shearsmith) arrive at a cottage in the middle of the English countryside and go inside, settling down for the night with a mug of tea each. But there's the problem of what they have in the boot of the car to contend with, and they will have to bring her in eventually. Their new acquisition is Tracey (Jennifer Ellison), daughter of a rich gangster of David's acquaintance who they have kidnapped and bound with a view to securing a king's ransom in return for her safety. But these kinds of plans never go too smoothly...

The Cottage was writer and director Paul Andrew Williams' unlikely follow up to his gritty drama London to Brighton, a complete change of pace for something that starts out as a bungling criminals comedy and transforms for its last act into a rural horror which did not spare the ketchup. It had the advantage of brevity, being a punchy little effort which knew its own mind, which was to create a sort of British Three Stooges for the new millennium, although most of the violence is not committed by the trio of loser kidnappers, but is visited upon them.

Yes, a trio, because heading David and Peter's way is Andrew (Stephen O'Donnell), the dimwitted stepbrother of Tracey, with what they hope is the ransom money. Sadly for them, Andrew didn't think to check the contents of the bag he was given which it emerges is filled not with readies but tissue paper. As if that were not bad enough, Tracey is a foul-mouthed harpy who can easily outwit her captors who in rather too contrived scenes manage to sabotage their scheming with redundant regularity: even soft-spoken, slow-burning David, supposedly the brains of the outfit, messes up.

If our sympathies are with anyone, it is with him and his simple dreams of buying a yacht to sail away in. It's not as if the people they are trying to exact money from are especially decent, Tracey is proof of that, but you are aware from the start that nothing here is going to work out, even if there hadn't been a Texas Chain Saw Massacre style maniac roaming around outside. There are actually two cottages in the film, one where we start and another where we end, so who knows which the title refers to. More important than that, however, is getting the group of characters from one to the other.

Peter is supposed to be the main source of the humour, with his simpering antics including being afraid of moths, so with crushing inevitability he ends up in a room full of them and his phobia causes Tracey to get away. The gags are not as wittily twisted as Shearsmith's League of Gentlemen material, leaving this more of a bloody slapstick endeavour with bits and pieces geting hacked off the characters the further the story progresses. There's a nice cameo from Hellraiser's Doug Bradley as a cliché "we don't like strangers round these 'ere parts" local, and occasionally a chuckle arises from how far over the top Williams is willing to take his cast, but there's a despairing level of futility about the plot and how it ends up that leaves you curiously unsatisfied. Perfectly watchable (and stick with the end credits), but it rings hollow. Music by Laura Rossi.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 2131 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Who's the best?
Steven Seagal
Pam Grier
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Andrew Pragasam
Stately Wayne Manor
  Patrick Keenan
Enoch Sneed
Ian Phillips
  Afra Khan
  Dan Malone
   

 

Last Updated: