HOME |  JOIN |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
Newest Reviews
20th Century Women
Monster Trucks
Lookout, The
Black Belt
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter
Their Finest
Stella Cadente
Water Drops on Burning Rocks
Replace
Belladonna of Sadness
Aquarius
Erik the Conqueror
Baghead
Guns at Batasi
Gang Story, A
Magnificent Ambersons, The
Climber, The
It's a Big Country
Raw
Last Man Standing
Transfiguration, The
Alien Nation
Kajaki
Certain Fury
Life
Hundra
Wonder Woman
Francesca
Jimi Plays Berkeley
Berlin Syndrome
   
 
Newest Articles
Two Sides of Sellers: The Party vs The Optimists
Norse Code: The Vikings vs The Long Ships
Over the Moon - Space: 1999 The Complete Series on Blu-ray Part 2
Alpha Males and Females - Space: 1999 The Complete Series on Blu-ray Part 1
Animated Anxieties: From the Era of the Creepiest Cartoons
Manor On Movies--Clegg (1970)
Plans for Nigel: The Crunch... and Other Stories on DVD
Let's Get Harry: Repo Man and Paris, Texas
Shut Up, Crime! The Punisher at the Movies
Thunderbollocks: The Golden Age of Bond Rip-Offs
   
 
  Chemical Wedding do what thou wiltBuy this film here.
Year: 2008
Director: Julian Doyle
Stars: Simon Callow, Kal Weber, Lucy Cudden, Jud Charlton, Paul McDowell, John Shrapnel, Richard Franklin, Terence Bayler, Robert Ashby, Jared Ashe, Antonia Beamish, Esmé Bianco, Geoff Breton, Lily Dumont, Mat Fraser, Helen Millar, Lizzie Millne, Perrine Moran
Genre: Horror, Science Fiction, Weirdo
Rating:  3 (from 1 vote)
Review: Aleister Crowley, occultist, philosopher and self-styled “wickedest man in the world” is the subject of this peculiar horror movie, scripted by former Iron Maiden front-man Bruce Dickinson. American scientist Professor Mathers (Kal Weber) arrives at Cambridge University where he attracts pretty student reporter Leah Robinson (Lucy Cudden), eager to get the scoop on his top secret experiment. For reasons never entirely made clear, Mathers plans to link his state-of-the-art virtual reality suit to the world’s biggest super computer.

Unknown to him, his occult obsessed co-programmer Victor Neumann (Jud Charlton) has uploaded all of the late Crowley’s black magic ceremonies into the computer in binary form, so when his stuttering accomplice Professor Haddo (Simon Callow) enters the suit, he emerges transformed into “the Beast” himself. Crowley/Haddo proceeds to run rampant with sex, murder and depravity, culminating in an occult ritual known as the Chemical Wedding, while Mathers, Leah and Professor Symons (Paul McDowell) try to send him back to hell.

The mix of occult lore and science fiction (as Victor remarks: “Quantum physics is the new alchemy”) evokes Nigel Kneale, but this is a deeply silly movie. As directed by onetime Monty Python collaborator Julian Doyle, it remains hard to discern whether this is meant to be high camp or faithfully following Crowley’s oft-quoted dictum: “Do what thou wilt.” While fantasy writers from Neil Gaiman to Alan Moore take Crowley pretty seriously, the man’s church-baiting hedonism more closely resembles modern, self-aggrandising celebrity than anything particularly satanic. Those who celebrate him as a libertarian would do well to remember he was also a racist whose bisexuality stemmed from his deep-rooted contempt for women - qualities that would make him a far scarier villain than he is here.

Bruce Dickinson seems an intelligent, well read man. His script is occasionally erudite yet dense with Crowley lore, freemasonry and quantum physics to the point of incoherence. The unfolding events are very much a rock star’s idea of satanic evil: rampant orgies, drug use and rude behaviour. Simon Callow camps it up as Haddo/Crowley deposits a steaming pile of excrement upon his desk, hypnotises a girl into stripping off, crucifies a call girl after shaving her pubic hair, and goads Victor into a threesome with a busty, “Whore of Babylon.” Most of the sex and violence occurs off-screen, which is just as well given a faintly offensive moment that implies Crowley has sodomised a crippled woman to “cure” her. However, Doyle’s haphazard storytelling coupled with Callow’s over the top bellowing renders several supporting characters impossibly vague. Why on earth do people flock to such a ridiculous character?

A trippy, Satanism meets cyberpunk finale works in Schrödinger’s cat, chaos theory and a neat twist about parallel worlds (implying ours is the one governed by Satan), but the clever concepts are swamped in a mire of inanity. With antics that range from a ridiculous pagan analysis of Hamlet (“Academics are mere boils on the Bard’s arsehole”) before dropping his pants to piss all over the students, and masturbating over a mystic parchment that he then faxes to Leah (semen and all!), this horror villain is little more than a pantomime joke. Maybe that’s the point, since the real Crowley looks more like one with each passing decade.
Reviewer: Andrew Pragasam

 

This review has been viewed 2099 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Who's the best?
Robin Askwith
Mark Wahlberg
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Ian Phillips
Jensen Breck
Enoch Sneed
Paul Smith
Stately Wayne Manor
Paul Shrimpton
  Vikki Sanderson
   

 

Last Updated: