HOME |  JOIN |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
Newest Reviews
Lodgers, The
Eagle vs Shark
American Assassin
Die, Mommie, Die!
All the Money in the World
Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds, The
Black Panther
Children's Hour, The
Mayhem
Sphere
Guyver, The
Night School
Loveless
Ragtime
Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters
Murders in the Rue Morgue
Wound, The
Scalawag
Let's Get Harry
Girl with Green Eyes
Sunchaser, The
Tom Jones
Downsizing
Defiant Ones, The
Centerfold Girls, The
Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner, The
120 BPM (Beats Per Minute)
Police Academy 3: Back in Training
Safe Place, A
Saturday Night and Sunday Morning
   
 
Newest Articles
Bad Taste from Outer Space: Galaxy of Terror and Xtro
A Yen for the 1990s: Iron Monkey and Satan Returns
Hey, Punk: Jubilee and Rock 'n' Roll High School
Help! with The Knack: Richard Lester in 1965
Roll Up, Get Yer Free Cinema: The Shorts on the BFI Woodfall Blu-rays
Time for Heroes: The Dam Busters and How I Won the War
Hell is a City: Midnight Cowboy and Taxi Driver
Boris Goes Bonkers, Bela Goes Bats: The Old Dark House and Mark of the Vampire
Charles Bronson's Mid-70s: Breakheart Pass and Others
Kids in America: The Breakfast Club vs Metropolitan
80s Dance-Off: Staying Alive vs Murder-Rock vs Breakin'
The Cinematic Darkside of Donald Crowhurst
Dutch Courage: The Flodder Series
Coming of Age: Boys on Film 18 - Heroes on DVD
Country and Irish - The secret history of Irish pop culture
   
 
  Zeta One These Ladies Are Out Of This WorldBuy this film here.
Year: 1969
Director: Michael Cort
Stars: James Robertson Justice, Charles Hawtrey, Robin Hawdon, Anna Gael, Brigitte Skay, Dawn Addams, Valerie Leon, Lionel Murton, Yutte Stensgaard, Angela Grant, Wendy Lingham, Rita Webb, Carol Hawkins, Steve Kirby, Paul Baker, Walter Sparrow, Alan Haywood
Genre: Comedy, Trash, Science Fiction
Rating:  4 (from 1 vote)
Review: Secret agent James Word (Robin Hawdon) returns home to his flat one evening to discover his front door is open. Immediately suspicious, he draws his pistol and begins creeping around his rooms, hoping to catch the intruder out until he barges into the kitchen and falls in a heap amongst some brooms and mops. There, with an amused look on her face, is Ann Olsen (Yutte Stensgaard), who claims to have been sent by Word's bosses to find out more about the mission he has been on. And not only that, but she's cooked her speciality, coq au vin, for dinner...

Well, it's all very domestic and cosy isn't it, but you had better get used to these two as they prattle on for a time-consuming twenty minutes before anything approaching a story raises its head. Zeta One was an especially shoddy experience, looking as it did as if the producers had about half an hour of Barbarella-style sexploitation and were forced to pad it out to a patience-testing eighty minutes. This hailed from British independent Tigon, and was distinctive for being an early example of the kind of prurient entertainment that would really make its mark in the next decade.

However, few of those were quite as strange as this - what was wrong with a straightforward sex comedy? Instead, although it is indicated we're not supposed to take this seriously, there's precious little about it that would raise a laugh, even with the presence of seasoned comedy pros James Robertson Justice (as the villainous Major Bourdon) and Charles Hawtrey (as Swyne, his sidekick). Indeed, it can be quite jarring to see what these two get up to here, with Justice torturing a topless young woman on a rack one bit that is once seen, never forgotten (although you'd probably wish it otherwise).

The hero is James Word, and Hawdon gets to play this character as a bumbling James Bond type. The supposed enemies would fit right into a Bond rip-off on a higher budget, being a society of attractive women led by Zeta (Dawn Addams) of the sort that we've seen before in the likes of Cat-Women of the Moon and Queen of Outer Space, only these ladies wear fewer clothes. That there are whole groups of characters who never speak to each other, never even meet each other in fact, speaks of a cast who spent a couple of days' shooting their bits, pocketed their fee and never let the memory of Zeta One trouble them again.

The filmmakers knew their (male) audience as evinced by the amount of naked women making an appearance - the heroine, Edwina (Wendy Lingham) is even a stripper - but as a story this is all over the place. You would be hard pressed to work out what precisely has been gained by the other-dimensional females of Angvia (one for the anagram fans, there), and it all resolves itself in a runaround with semi-starkers women rushing around a freezing-looking English forest and zapping henchmen with hand gestures (accompanied by thunderclaps on the soundtrack for effect). How this all went down with the adult cinemagoers of 1969 is anyone's guess, but one part is notable: the temperamental talking elevator that Douglas Adams must have been inspired by, surely? Music by Johnny Hawksworth (including a frenzied playing of the spoons).
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 4253 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which film has the best theme song?
Spectre
The Ups and Downs of a Handyman
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Enoch Sneed
Paul Smith
  Jamie Nichols
Andrew Pragasam
George White
Darren Jones
  Butch Elliot
   

 

Last Updated: