HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
Newest Reviews
Await Further Instructions
Ewoks: The Battle for Endor
In Order of Disappearance
Charlotte's Web
Meg, The
Christmas Blood
Equalizer 2, The
1985
Mowgli
Ski School
Ant-Man and the Wasp
Age of Shadows, The
Mission: Impossible - Fallout
Othello
First Reformed
Red White and Zero
Death Wish
Cry Wilderness
Heiresses, The
Millhouse: A White Comedy
Skyscraper
Born of Fire
Teen Titans Go! To the Movies
Lucia
Yanks
Sweet November
Ballad of Buster Scruggs, The
Real Men
Shoplifters
Redeemer
   
 
Newest Articles
Phone Freak: When a Stranger Calls on Blu-ray
A Name to Conjure With: David Nixon's Magic Box on DVD
Which 1950s Sci-Fi was Scariest? Invaders from Mars vs The Blob
The Empire Strikes Back: Khartoum vs Carry On Up the Khyber
Stan and Ollie's Final Folly: Atoll K on Blu-ray
The Big Grapple: Escape from New York and Its Influence
The Conquest of Everett: The Kenny Everett Video Show on DVD
Bout for the Count: Hammer's Dracula in the 1970s
Nopes from a Small Island: Mistreatment of American Stars in British Films
You Know, For Kids: Children's Film Foundation Bumper Box
If He Were a Carpenter and It Was the 80s: The Fog, Prince of Darkness and They Live
Tee-Hee, It's 80s Sci-Fi Horror: Night of the Comet, The Stuff and Night of the Creeps
Chance of a Ghost: The Uninvited and The Ghost and Mrs. Muir
3 Simian Slashers: Phenomena, Link and Monkey Shines
When is a Jackie Chan Movie Not a Jackie Chan Movie? Armour of God and City Hunter
   
 
  Zeta One These Ladies Are Out Of This WorldBuy this film here.
Year: 1969
Director: Michael Cort
Stars: James Robertson Justice, Charles Hawtrey, Robin Hawdon, Anna Gael, Brigitte Skay, Dawn Addams, Valerie Leon, Lionel Murton, Yutte Stensgaard, Angela Grant, Wendy Lingham, Rita Webb, Carol Hawkins, Steve Kirby, Paul Baker, Walter Sparrow, Alan Haywood
Genre: Comedy, Trash, Science Fiction
Rating:  4 (from 1 vote)
Review: Secret agent James Word (Robin Hawdon) returns home to his flat one evening to discover his front door is open. Immediately suspicious, he draws his pistol and begins creeping around his rooms, hoping to catch the intruder out until he barges into the kitchen and falls in a heap amongst some brooms and mops. There, with an amused look on her face, is Ann Olsen (Yutte Stensgaard), who claims to have been sent by Word's bosses to find out more about the mission he has been on. And not only that, but she's cooked her speciality, coq au vin, for dinner...

Well, it's all very domestic and cosy isn't it, but you had better get used to these two as they prattle on for a time-consuming twenty minutes before anything approaching a story raises its head. Zeta One was an especially shoddy experience, looking as it did as if the producers had about half an hour of Barbarella-style sexploitation and were forced to pad it out to a patience-testing eighty minutes. This hailed from British independent Tigon, and was distinctive for being an early example of the kind of prurient entertainment that would really make its mark in the next decade.

However, few of those were quite as strange as this - what was wrong with a straightforward sex comedy? Instead, although it is indicated we're not supposed to take this seriously, there's precious little about it that would raise a laugh, even with the presence of seasoned comedy pros James Robertson Justice (as the villainous Major Bourdon) and Charles Hawtrey (as Swyne, his sidekick). Indeed, it can be quite jarring to see what these two get up to here, with Justice torturing a topless young woman on a rack one bit that is once seen, never forgotten (although you'd probably wish it otherwise).

The hero is James Word, and Hawdon gets to play this character as a bumbling James Bond type. The supposed enemies would fit right into a Bond rip-off on a higher budget, being a society of attractive women led by Zeta (Dawn Addams) of the sort that we've seen before in the likes of Cat-Women of the Moon and Queen of Outer Space, only these ladies wear fewer clothes. That there are whole groups of characters who never speak to each other, never even meet each other in fact, speaks of a cast who spent a couple of days' shooting their bits, pocketed their fee and never let the memory of Zeta One trouble them again.

The filmmakers knew their (male) audience as evinced by the amount of naked women making an appearance - the heroine, Edwina (Wendy Lingham) is even a stripper - but as a story this is all over the place. You would be hard pressed to work out what precisely has been gained by the other-dimensional females of Angvia (one for the anagram fans, there), and it all resolves itself in a runaround with semi-starkers women rushing around a freezing-looking English forest and zapping henchmen with hand gestures (accompanied by thunderclaps on the soundtrack for effect). How this all went down with the adult cinemagoers of 1969 is anyone's guess, but one part is notable: the temperamental talking elevator that Douglas Adams must have been inspired by, surely? Music by Johnny Hawksworth (including a frenzied playing of the spoons).
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 4472 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star do you think makes the best coffee?
Emma Stone
Anna Kendrick
Michelle Rodriguez
Sir Patrick Stewart
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Stately Wayne Manor
George White
Paul Smith
Andrew Pragasam
Darren Jones
Aseels Almasi
Rashed Ali
   

 

Last Updated: