HOME |  JOIN |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
Newest Reviews
Please Stand By
Cockeyed Cowboys of Calico County, The
Deadpool 2
Smart Money
Lupin the Third vs. Detective Conan: The Movie
Gangsta
3 Nuts in Search of a Bolt
Magic Serpent, The
That's Not Me
There Goes the Bride
Billy the Kid versus Dracula
Liquid Sword
I, Tonya
Universal Soldier: Regeneration
Bad Match
Güeros
Anchor and Hope
One, The
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie
Lucky
Still of the Night
Home Sweet Homicide
Mannaja - A Man Called Blade
Spitfire
Killers from Space
Castle of the Creeping Flesh
Ghost Stories
Wild Boys, The
Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai, The
Four Rode Out
   
 
Newest Articles
Manor On Movies--Black Shampoo--three three three films in one
Manor On Movies--Invasion USA
Time Trap: Last Year in Marienbad and La Jetée
Gaining Three Stone: Salvador, Natural Born Killers and Savages
Right Said Bernard: Cribbins on DVD
1969: The Year Westerns Couldn't Get Past
A Network Horror Double Bill: Assault and Death Line on Blu-ray
The Edie Levy: Edie Sedgwick, Andy Warhol and Ciao! Manhattan
The Ultimate Trip: The Original Psychedelic Movies
Players of Games: Willy Wonka, Tron and Ready Player One
What Am I Doing Hangin' 'Round? The Ends of The Monkees
Flings and Arrows: Conquest vs Flesh + Blood
Orson Around: F for Fake and The Late Great Planet Earth
ITC What You Did There: Retro-Action on Blu-ray
And It Was the Dirtiest Harry We Have Seen in a Very Long Time: The Dirty Harry Series
   
 
  Carry On Columbus These aren't the Indians you were looking for...Buy this film here.
Year: 1992
Director: Gerald Thomas
Stars: Jim Dale, Bernard Cribbins, Julian Clary, Alexei Sayle, Sara Crowe, June Whitfield, Leslie Phillips, Maureen Lipman, Richard Wilson, Jack Douglas, Rebecca Lacey, Rik Mayall, Adrian Edmonson, Peter Richardson, Charles Fleischer, Larry Miller, Keith Allen
Genre: Comedy, Historical
Rating:  4 (from 2 votes)
Review: In the year of 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue…

Well, he would if he could find a map and someone to pay for his voyage. Convinced that there was a sea route to the East, he was determined to gain for himself all the riches currently being claimed in taxes on all goods passing through his country by the Sultan of Turkey. When Mordecai, a very recent 'convert' from Judaism, appears with the document he needs, he sets off to see the King and Queen of Spain to secure a ship. Hot on his trail are Fatima and Achmed, the Sultan's best (and worst) agents, to stop Columbus at all costs and make sure the Sultan's wealth doesn't vanish.

After securing a ship, a motley crew, and surviving several sabotage attempts, they finally reach land. But it does not appear that this shore is home to the Indians they were expecting...

Carry On Columbus can best be described as very, very thinly spread Marmite. Those who don't like it, really don't like it. And those who do like it (like myself) seem to regard it as an OK flick, not particularly good, but average to middling in parts. But could have been much more...

This is due in a large way to the challenges they faced during production and with an audience that had moved on from the Seventies.

Trying to release a film about Columbus in 1992 wasn't in any way unique, but it did mean that you couldn't overrun the 500th Anniversary of his voyage. So time was tight, and as such, required rewrites were hurried, casting bordered on the "Are you available? Then you’re hired" approach, and post-production was rushed through in a very haphazard way. And it was then shown to audiences who either felt too nostalgic for the classics of their youth, or didn't get the purpose of a Carry On.

But that does the film a disservice.

Yes there are poor performances, terrible lines, dodgy sets and tacky production values, certainly. But there's still worth there. Bernard Cribbins gives his all as Mordecai, and whilst Jim Dale goes over the top on occasion, he throws everything into the role of Columbus. Some of the newcomers get the point of a Carry On (Julian Clary, Alexei Sayle and the lovely Sara Crowe especially) and there are some wonderfully delivered jokes in the script that are worth waiting for, my favorite being between Rebecca Lacey and Jack Douglas, who set up and deliver a punchline about sharks that is delightful.

The Americans (for 'tis they that Columbus discovers) hit just the right note of Brooklyn condescension towards these ignorant visitors, even down to the broad accents and attitudes.

And if more proof was needed, consider the other two major commemorative films of the year - Christopher Columbus: The Discovery, and 1492: Conquest Of Paradise - cost $45 million and $47 million respectively to make, whilst Columbus cost less than $3 million, and yet the Carry On effort out performed both of its big budget rivals at the box office.

Is Carry On Columbus a good film? Well.... no.

Is it the worst Carry On? Most certainly not. Anyone who has sat through Carry On Emmannuelle will know that...
Reviewer: Paul Shrimpton

 

This review has been viewed 1270 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 

Gerald Thomas  (1920 - 1993)

British director responsible for every film in the Carry On series. Started as an assistant editor before debuting with the childrens' film Circus Friends. Thriller Timelock followed, but the success of 1958’s bawdy Carry On Sergeant launched one of the most successful series in British cinema. Thomas directed 30 Carry On films up until 1978’s Carry On Emmannuelle, returning in 1992 to deliver his final film, Carry On Columbus. Other films include the Carry On-esque Nurse on Wheels and The Big Job, plus the big screen version of Bless this House.

 
Review Comments (2)
Posted by:
Graeme Clark
Date:
18 Jan 2017
  That's a coincidence, I was thinking about this film today! The funniest line was in the trailer: "If you've seen something here that offends you, we'll whip it out!" The progress of years hadn't made the production any less stingy, nor the jokes any fresher, but I'd agree Emmannuelle remained the worst of the lot. Clary deserved better, he could have had a nice side career in movies if the industry had been on healthier form.
       
Posted by:
Paul Shrimpton
Date:
19 Jan 2017
  Oh, I liked the "Will they eat me whole?" "No miss, I think they spit that bit out!" line...
       


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Who's the best?
Steven Seagal
Pam Grier
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Andrew Pragasam
Graeme Clark
Stately Wayne Manor
  Patrick Keenan
Enoch Sneed
Ian Phillips
  Afra Khan
  Dan Malone
   

 

Last Updated: